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kelley b's picture

King of Pain

Thread: 

It is not, however, the same old thing as yesterday.


The crowd is getting ugly. Soldiers roll up in a Hummer. Suddenly, the whole right half of your body is screaming in agony. You feel like you've been dipped in molten lava. You almost faint from shock and pain, but instead you stumble backwards -- and then start running. To your surprise, everyone else is running too. In a few seconds, the street is completely empty. Read below the fold...
Sarah's picture

What's the Matter with Kansas, Part Deux

Thread: 

A rancher in Kansas is fighting his county commissioners in an effort to save prairie dogs. Larry Haverman wants to keep the balance of nature in balance, and hopes to see black-footed ferrets restored to the ecosystem. Neighbors and the county commissioners want to poison his pastures instead. Read below the fold...

Headines you need to read twice to make sure they said what they said

WaPo:

Democratic Wave in Congress Further Erodes Moderation in GOP

This, of the party that spent its last days in office failing to pass a budget, and trying to pass a "fetal pain" bill.

And get a load of this definition of Moderate: Read below the fold...

Consumers have only interpreted the world...

... in their various ways. The point, however, is to change it."

In the words of the old song.

Jeebus, Web 2.0 is already making my head hurt.

Can't we get some software that calms us down and deepens us, instead of making us shallow and hyper? Read below the fold...

Ah TOLE You Them Damn Things Was Evil!

They can turn on your cell phone when you think you've turned it "off," and listen in on anything the microphone can pick up. Which is probably a much wider range than you think it is.

And it's LEGAL and they can use the eavesdropped-upon information gained in court, against you or anyone else listened to or discussed. Via ZDNet.com:
Read below the fold...

vastleft's picture

Move over Tigris and Euphrates: denial's a river in Iraq

Departments: 

Bush: "We will prevail" in Iraq.

Also, despite badly escalating violence that the greatest army in the world can't stem, Lee Hamilton claims (video) that in the last year we've learned how to train the Iraqis to secure the country. Read below the fold...

Why does the Beltway 500 continue to say there's an Iraqi government?

Because there isn't. This gem from The Amazing Froomkin's online forum, which is good all the way through: Read below the fold...

vastleft's picture

The global war on not reading videogame boxes

After she attends a meeting about the Baker Report...

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) joins Sen. Lieberman (I-CT) at a press conference to announce the launch of a nationwide television PSA campaign about video game ratings at 3:00 pm ET in the Dirksen Senate Office Building in Washington, DC.

Apparently, we're in election gear solid. Read below the fold...

vastleft's picture

The Greatest Generation will live in fame. How about us?

Departments: 

As they do every five years, though they say this may be the last time, Pearl Harbor survivors gather in Hawaii to remember those who weren't so lucky on that infamous day. Read below the fold...

Goodnight, moon

CD, phone home! Read below the fold...

Are you embarrassed easily?

After I threw my copy of The Purpose Driven Life at the radio during the Iraq Studly Group NPR coverage, it squawked, went dead, and then began to emit the material I have transcribed below:



Announcer: Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it's nothing to worry about. It's all part of growing up and being a pundit. This course is designed to eliminate embarrassment, to enable you to talk freely around real subjects, to deny inconvenient and embarrassing truths, and to sniff Hillary's panties. The course has been designed by David Broder, Dean of The Institute of Large-footed and Pasty White Men in Arlington, Virginia. Here, he himself introduces the course.
Broder: Hello, my name is David Broder. Thank you for inviting me into your home. My method is the result of six years work here at the Institute, in which subjects were exposed to simulated embarrassment predicaments, over a prolonged fart - period! time! (fart) ...Sorry. Lesson 1: Words. Do any of these words embarrass you?
Voice over:   Teabag. Wurlitzer. Cocktail weinies.
Broder: Now let's go on to something ruder:
Voice over: Wankel rotary engine
Broder: Now lesson 2: Noises. Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "my pet goat", "potent tool" and "eight-inch, cut" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sound. Listen to this, if you can:

[embarrassing sound]

How do you rate your embarrassment response?

  1. High.
  2. Heil!
  3. Dolchstosslegende!

If C, you are loosening up, and will soon be ready for this:

[more embarrassing sounds]

Well! How did you rate?

  1. Embarrassed.
  2. Foily!
  3. Dolchstosslegende!

Now lesson 3, in which these rude and dirty sounds are combined with  visual suggestions into a embarrassment simulation situation. You are the waiter at this table:

Cindy: George, I've got something to show you...

[Unzipping body bag, thud of bloody corpse]

Broder: Score 5 for no embarrassment, score 3 for slight embarrassment, and 1 for...
kelley b's picture

Learned Helplessness and Fighting the Power

Departments: 
Thread: 

The Moderates think it's a sure thing. It seems the DINOcrats on the Armed Services Committee are more than willing to let the Fixer and his boys handler Der Decider. It's like both sides want this to go through making as few waves as possible. Read below the fold...

MJS's picture

Phil Poised to Run in '08?


When Phil runs, people talk...

Well, he'll run in '08 provided his aching joints hold up that long. Once elected, King Philip Jumbo Chumly III, better known as Phil, will likely pee all over the White House and bark at guests (he learned most of what he knows from John Bolton). Read below the fold...

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