Proving that you don’t have to waterboard people to get them to renounce everything they know, arrested Vietnam-era deserter Allen Abney now says refusing to fight was a “mistake.” And all it took was a couple of nights in a brig and the prospect of 5 more years in prison:

“When I was 18, I wasn’t aware that duty and honor would mean as much to me as they do now,” Allen Abney, 56, said Monday….

“The (Marine Corps) is one of the finest military organizations in the world,” he said. “Good or bad, they take care of their own and I feel privileged to have shared some time with those fine young warriors.”

Well, Allen, I have good news. You may have missed out on My Lai, napalming villages, fragging your commander, whoring with Third World women, and defoliating jungles 38 years ago, but there are ground-floor opportunities in “duty and honor” opening up in a desert theater of war not so near you:

After a roadside bomb killed a U.S. marine in western Iraq, American troops went into nearby houses and shot dead 15 members of two families, including a three-year-old-girl, residents told The Associated Press on Monday….

The allegations against the marines were first brought forward by Time magazine, which reported this week that it obtained a videotape two months ago taken by a Haditha journalism student that shows the dead still in their nightclothes.

The magazine report mirrored what was told independently to The AP by residents who described what happened as a massacre.

A military spokeswoman said Monday the allegations were being taken “very seriously.”

And by “very seriously” the Marines mean seriously in need of coverup:

A U.S. military statement in November described it as an ambush on a joint U.S.-Iraqi patrol that left 15 civilians, eight insurgents and a U.S. marine dead in the bombing and a subsequent firefight. The statement said the 15 civilians were killed by the blast, a claim residents denied.

They said the only shooting done after the bombing was by U.S. forces.

You see? Marines do “take care of their own.” Semper fi! Hooah!

“American troops immediately cordoned off the area and raided two nearby houses, shooting at everyone inside,” said Mr. Rsayef, who didn’t witness the events but whose 15-year-old niece says she did. “It was a massacre in every sense of the word.”

Mr. Rsayef and another resident, former city councilman Imad Jawad Hamza, who spoke with hospital officials and residents, said the first house to be stormed was that of Abdul-Hamid Hassan Ali, which was near the scene of the bombing.

Mr. Ali, 76, whose left leg was amputated years ago because of diabetes, died after being shot in the stomach and chest. His wife, Khamisa, 66, was shot in the back. Ali’s son, Jahid, 43, was hit in the head and chest. Son Walid, 37, was burned to death after a grenade was thrown into his room, and a third son, 28-year-old Rashid, died after he was shot in the head and chest, Mr. Rsayef and Mr. Hamza said.

Also among the dead were son Mr. Walid’s wife, Asma, 32, who was shot in the head, and their son Abdullah, 4, who was shot in the chest, Mr. Rsayef and Mr. Hamza said.

Mr. Walid’s eight-year-old daughter, Iman, and his six-year-old son, Abdul-Rahman, were wounded and U.S. troops took them to Baghdad for treatment. The only person who escaped unharmed was Mr. Walid’s five-month-old daughter, Asia. The three children now live with their maternal grandparents, Mr. Rsayef and Mr. Hamza said.

Mr. Rsayef said those killed in the second house were his brother Younis, 43, who was shot in the stomach and chest, the brother’s wife Aida, 40, who was shot in the neck and chest while still in bed where she was recuperating from bladder surgery. Their eight-year-old son Mohammed bled to death after being shot in the right arm, Mr. Rsayef said.

Also killed were Mr. Younis’s daughters, Nour, 14, who was shot in the head; Seba, 10, who was hit in the chest; Zeinab, 5, shot in the chest and stomach; and Aisha, 3, who was shot in the chest. Hoda Yassin, a visiting relative, was also killed, Mr. Rsayef and Mr. Hamza said.

The only survivor from Mr. Younis’s family was his 15-year-old daughter Safa, who pretended she was dead. She is living with her grandparents, Mr. Rsayef said.

The troops then shot and killed four brothers who were walking in the street, Mr. Rsayef and Mr. Hamza said, identifying them as the sons of Ayed Ahmed — Marwan, Qahtan, Jamal and Chaseb….

Dr. Walid al-Hadithi, chief physician at Haditha General Hospital, said that about midnight the day of the attack, two U.S. Humvees arrived at the hospital — one carrying the bodies of men and the other those of women and children.

“They (the marines) told me the women and children were shot in their homes, and they added that the men were saboteurs,” Dr. al-Hadithi said. He said he was given a total of 24 bodies. “All had bullet wounds.”

It’s true. It’s the one-legged amputee saboteurs who are the deadliest, you know, what with their sympathy-inducing limp and all. It gives them extra time to waddle away from their IEDs.

Time said the available evidence did not prove the marines deliberately killed civilians. The magazine, however, said its investigation showed that walls and ceilings in both houses were pockmarked with shrapnel and bullet holes as well as sprays of blood. The video did not show any bullet holes on the outside of the houses — holes that might support the military report of a gunbattle.

The military, after being shown the videotape in January, concluded civilians were killed by marines, Time said, victims of “collateral damage.”

Yes, they had the misfortune of living in a country chosen as the site of “Vietnam II: The Re-freedoming”. But what can you do? They put their country over all that oil, and now they won’t let us at it. It’s our duty and honor to liberate it for them.

Luckily for you, Allen, joining today’s Marines is almost as easy as it was in the glory years of Vietnam. Hell, pretty soon they’ll take anybody: toothless old men, moral idiots, drug users, gang bangers, you name it. (Just no fairies.) So don’t let that whole deserter thing make you think you’re disqualified. Now that you’ve renounced whatever principles you may have had, you are prime raw material, ready to learn about the duty and honor of fighting to liberate natural resources from the women and children that oppress them. Carpe diem.