People are writing books that claim there is no God. (via)

As I sit here in this hotel room, I wonder: "Where are the books telling you that there is a God?"

In lieu of such a resource, I hope this blog post will put you on the path to spiritual enlightenment...

1. There is an invisible being called "God."
2. There is one true God. No, not that one. The one that your great aunt believes in. Yeah, that's the real one.
3. God created everything — the world, the sky, the people, the animals, everything. Maybe even himself, he's that special!
4. God watches and judges us and everything we do.
5. God wants us to devote ourselves to Him (FYI, God's a "he").
6. God enables us to have morals, ethics, and values. If you don't believe in and love Him, you are amoral, unethical, and valueless. Think about it — how could you be a good person without an invisible guy setting you straight? You couldn't, silly.
7. God had people write down special rules about how to run your life. Those rules are explained in the form of ancient, weird, violent, confusing, and contradictory stories.
8. God will forgive you for anything (especially molesting little boys while you're doing His good works and flying airplanes into buildings) and/or He will punish you for all eternity (tip: don't eat pork on Good Friday).
9. God authorizes you to do absolutely anything to stop people that you think are acting against His will (see #7). Transgressions include believing in the wrong version of Him (or, worse, in science), and punishments range from shunning offenders to murdering people who remind you of them.
10. God decides which side in a war is the right side. Great news: it's your side!
11. God keeps you alive, in some way, after you're dead. If the living you did stuff he didn't like, the dead you is really going to pay for it. (Didn't listen about that pork, did you?)
12. God planned everything that happens, no matter how seemingly terrible or random. And it's all good. Except for homosexuality — that's just bad. If people with invisible deities and ancient books think you're a freak, who are you and your loved one to tell them otherwise?
13. God doesn't mind if you use the number thirteen. He doesn't want you to be superstitious. Still, better safe than sorry....
14. God wants you to vote Republican, because they understand that the Lord helps those who help themselves. And is there a better way to help yourself than to take Congressmen on junkets to St. Andrews?
15. God gets really angry if you don't convince your children to believe in Him. The punishment starts with your great aunt's conniption fit, and it doesn't end. Ever.