Rush, Bill, Michelle: I have to hand it to you, you’ve pretty much nailed us Progressives as the phonies that we are. I mean, sure, Michael J. Fox really does have Parkinsons, but he only shakes because of his mendacious medication otherwise he’d be rock still like Sitting Bull on Defiant Indian Day. As for Bill O’? Remember the kid who was kidnapped by that weirdo? Well, that dirty little boy was just another example of a pod person, a cipher, a changeling, a phony-baloney-maroni. Yeah, Bill, that boy was having the time of his life with his aw-shucks-buddy, at least when his time wasn’t threatened with his imminent death. The fact that the lad’s family wants you to apologize—not to them but to their son—should not persuade you to do so. Do you know why? Well, this liberal is spilling the beans and sharing a secret: It’s because we’re all phonies. Every single last one of us. Everyone you have ever wagged your finger at or screwed up your nose for is a phony.

None of us are real. Soldiers who are against the war—what kind of nonsense is that? That’s like being a dog who is against the animal testing industry. Okay, a bad example. See how phony I am?

Oh, and dear Ms. Malkin…going after Graeme Frost and his family because they utilized state aid for medical care—and then this galling lad had the balls to talk about it for political reasons!—well, you were on target nailing his skinny little ass to the wall. Children getting aid from the state and they’re not even naked and freezing on the sidewalk! Damn right you should sic your attack dogs on them, and post their home address, and tsk-tsk-tsk those bastards to the curb! Phony! Phony! Phony!

Fellow Phonies: Limbaugh, O’Reilly & Malkin are onto us! All us phony people…hey, that sounds like a song!

++++

Millionaires Dig Me
(with the usual apology to Lennon/McCartney, etc.)

Ah, look at all the phony people
Ah, look at all the phony people

Millionaires dig me—they pick up the check as they lurch, lord you know they’re obscene
They love to scheme
Playing nintendo, leaving no trace of how fake they behave to score more
They always want more

All the phony people
Sent out by liberal scum
All the phony people
We used to call them bums

Father O’Reilly hurling his words like a German who’s drunk too much beer
Gas in his ears
Look at him shouting, doing his best to hang on to his audience share
Who the fuck cares?

All the phony people
Sent out by liberal scum
All the phony people
We used to call them bums

Ah, look at all the phony people
Ah, look at all the phony people

Millionaires dig me, crying in church as they whisper some dead soldier’s name
One less to blame
There was Rush Limbaugh, rubbing the dirt from his hands as he spit on the grave
A liberal’s grave

All the phony people (Ah, look at all the phony people)
Sent out by liberal scum
All the phony people (Ah, look at all the phony people)
We used to call them bums

++++