[The latest: Willard Mitt Romney.]

What is it with Republicans and animals?

We’ve got Rick Santorum’s obsession with “man on dog” sex, we’ve got Bill “Hello Kitty” Frist stealing cats from the pound, treating them like pets, and only then dissecting them, we’ve got George Felix Allen “shoving” a severed deer’s head into a mailbox, we’ve got Bush himself blowing up frogs by shoving firecrackers up their ass and lighting the fuse. Now here’s another one:

Republican candidate Beauprez’s running mate, Janet Rowland, quickly apologized after the public learned of her comments during a March broadcast of a public television program. Rowland said homosexuality is an alternative lifestyle, then added: “For some people, the alternative lifestyle is bestiality. Do we allow a man to marry a sheep?”

Now, one example? That’s an outlier. Two, three? Data points. Four, then five: Statistical significance, baby!

And it just makes me sad. I’ve never thought that I lacked imagination. But, compared to Republicans… I guess I’m just limited, somehow.

I can go for weeks, months, years without thinking about torturing animals, or having sex with them. In fact—can we talk, here?—I’ve never thought about a man marrying a sheep, not once, until a Republican put the picture into my mind!

I’ve had to invent a whole new category for these people, and this post is the first to use it:

The Department of What Is Wrong with These People?

And I just have to keep quoting from the story:

[Now Beaprez] is in a dogfight [!!] with Democrat Bill Ritter …. that the problems dogging Beauprez .. Beauprez has been dogged for months about his opposition to Referendum C …

Seems to be catching, unless these are sly insider references.

And I hope Stupid Ricky’s not reading this post. They’ll have to hose him down again.