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Are you embarrassed easily?

Submitted by lambert on Wed, 2006-12-06 22:51.

After I threw my copy of The Purpose Driven Life at the radio during the Iraq Studly Group NPR coverage, it squawked, went dead, and then began to emit the material I have transcribed below:

Announcer:Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it’s nothing to worry about. It’s all part of growing up and being a pundit. This course is designed to eliminate embarrassment, to enable you to talk freely around real subjects, to deny inconvenient and embarrassing truths, and to sniff Hillary’s panties. The course has been designed by David Broder, Dean of The Institute of Large-footed and Pasty White Men in Arlington, Virginia. Here, he himself introduces the course.
Broder: Hello, my name is David Broder. Thank you for inviting me into your home. My method is the result of six years work here at the Institute, in which subjects were exposed to simulated embarrassment predicaments, over a prolonged fart - period! time! (fart) …Sorry. Lesson 1: Words. Do any of these words embarrass you?
Voice over:   Teabag. Wurlitzer. Cocktail weinies.
Broder: Now let’s go on to something ruder:
Voice over: Wankel rotary engine
Broder:Now lesson 2: Noises. Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like “my pet goat”, “potent tool” and “eight-inch, cut” cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sound. Listen to this, if you can:

[embarrassing sound]

How do you rate your embarrassment response?

  1. High.
  2. Heil!
  3. Dolchstosslegende!
If C, you are loosening up, and will soon be ready for this:

[more embarrassing sounds]

Well! How did you rate?

  1. Embarrassed.
  2. Foily!
  3. Dolchstosslegende!

Now lesson 3, in which these rude and dirty sounds are combined with  visual suggestions into a embarrassment simulation situation. You are the waiter at this table:

Cindy:George, I’ve got something to show you…

[Unzipping body bag, thud of bloody corpse]

Broder: Score 5 for no embarrassment, score 3 for slight embarrassment, and 1 for…
NOTE Inspired by the classic Monty Python sketch.
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