Somebody heaved a bulky manila envelope through the frosted glass doors of The Department of How Stupid Do They Think We Are? Of course, since that Department is always closed they had no choice, so, like good liberals, we were not angry, and when we got done sweeping up the glass and installing the plywood, we opened the envelope and found ourselves perusing the latest email from Ken Mehlman—just in time for the SOTU. We’ve excerpted and highlighted the really good parts for your innoculating pleasure. Now, watch them propagate!

After September 11th, we heard so often that our government failed to connect the dots. So, the President signed the Patriot Act, which had been passed overwhelmingly by Congress. He took appropriate action to connect the dots. He reformed the government bureaucracy, enabling it to fight a different kind of war.

Thanks for the opportunity to serve, Mr. President!  Read more 

Somebody left a mysterious carton on the front steps of the Mighty Corrente Building. After we finished folding up the brown paper it was wrapped in so we could recycle it for Christmas, we opened it up and found a typewritten manuscript. It’s pretty short; all the Republicans must be off getting lawyered up:

Longer McClellan:
September 11th taught us some important lessons.  Read more 

Somebody threw a brown envelope over the transom of the Department of Keeping Track in the Mighty Corrente Building. After we fished it out of the bucket of water and opened it, we read what follows. Looks like somebody’s been spending time at GOP.com:  Read more