'Tis the Season, Y'all ...

and colder than the proverbial well-digger’s rear here in Lubbock today. Herewith then, a receipt for something yummy.
First, the basic Mixture:

AKA hot cocoa mix from scratch
2 oz baking chocolate, grated
(bittersweet, 60% or more cocoa; 2 squares of Ghirardelli
or 4 of the little blocks of Baker’s German)
1/3 cup good Dutch process cocoa powder
1/2 cup powdered milk
pinch regular table salt
1/2 cup dark brown sugar, packed
Put all in a food processor and mix well.

To 1/3 cup of this in a mug, add:
3/4 cup boiling water
1/8 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp maple extract OR 2 Tbsp maple syrup
4 TBSP half and half or evaporated milk

Stir to dissolve and enjoy.

If you don’t like maple and cinnamon together you can
substitute 1/8 tsp chipotle powder, for cocoa with a kick.

------ CONTEST!!!! ----------

What’s your favorite homemade dish, and how do you make it?

A recipe for Pork Delay

Once again, a repost, in honor of Delay stepping down from his leadership post. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer fascist.

I’m going to repost this, tweaked with suggestions from alert readers, in honor of Tom “Don’t Call Me Frenchy!” DéLay’s second very special day.

In honor of The Hammer’s very, very special day we present the following recipe for Pork Delay.

1. Procure one well-fatted Republican.

2. Remove the suit, the forked tongue, and the heart. Set aside the heart in case Dick Cheney changes his mind.

3. Wash the inner cavity of the Republican, then stuff with golf balls. Close and truss.

4. Steep the carcass in corruption until tender or indicted, whichever comes first.

5. Secure the Republican to the rotating spit device. Adjust the amount of spin as needed.

6. Place an oilpan beneath the Republican to catch the drippings.

7. While the Republican is turning, prepare the Orange Jumpsuit sauce.

7. When juice runs clear, remove the Republican from heat.

8. Slice the Republican into wedges.

9. Arrange wedges on a bed of shredded lettuce and garnish with the testicles of centrists. Drizzle with Orange Jumpsuit sauce.

10. Serve under the Capitol Dome.

NOTE Sorry, Vegans! Readers, can you improve on this recipe?

A recipe for squeezed rat

In honor of “Scooter” Libby’s Very Special Day, we present the following recipe for Squeezed Rat.

1. Procure one rat.

2. Squeeze ’til it squeals, then

3. Flip and flatten immediately under heavy indictment.

4. Dip the carcass in a batter of plea bargains.

5. Fry in deep shit until tender.

7. Serve cold in court.

(Squeezed rat is a dish best served cold.)

Apropos of nothing whatever

Time for a break and to think about happy sweet things:

PEACHES:
Pain perdu with peaches and vanilla

Serves 4 :Pain perdu or “lost bread” was originally conceived by the French as an ingenious way of using up leftover bread or brioche. It’s also known as French toast or eggy bread, or tostado in Spain. This version is more sophisticated, the brioche almost turns into a custard-like fried slice.

4 slices of brioche, cut about 2cm thick, crusts off;2 egg yolks;2tbsp caster sugar; 200ml single cream; A few drops of vanilla essence; A couple of good knobs of butter (about 90g).
For the peaches: 2 large ripe peaches
A couple good knobs of butter (about 90g);1tbsp caster sugar;The seeds from half a vanilla pod; 100ml single cream. The night before, whisk the yolks, sugar, vanilla and cream together, place the slices of brioche in a dish and pour the mixture over. Turn the brioche a couple of times then clingfilm the dish and refrigerate overnight or for 4-6 hours until the brioche has absorbed the mixture. Keep the slices of brioche whole or half them if it’s a large brioche.

Melt the butter in a frying pan and cook the slices until crisp and golden. Halve the peaches and remove stones, then cut each half into 3 or 4 wedges. Melt the butter in a pan, add the sugar and the vanilla seeds, and stir until melted. Then cook the peaches on a medium heat for 3-4 minutes, until they soften, add the cream and simmer for a minute or so. Spoon the peaches over the bread.

From the wonderful
Sarah Deere over at the Gray Turtleneck Place.

A “knob” of butter is circa 1-4 tbs, for other measurements flip yer damn measuring cup around to the other side that you normally ignore, it’s all marked in metric so they can sell the same stuff in the civilized world. This sounds awfully good.

If it’s too much work just skip the whole bread part and make the peach side of things. Mmmmm, peaches. [/homer simpson drool]

Aux duck pits, citoyens!

In honor of the 39 months remaining in Inerrant Boy’s [cough] Presidency, we present the following, authentic authentic Civil War recipe:

STEWED DUCK

1 old duck
Minced ham or salt pork
1 large onion, chopped
Sage
Parsley
1 tbs. catsup (type not specified)
Black pepper
1 tsp. brown sugar
1 tbs. browned flour

This is a good way to treat an old and tough fowl.

Clean and divide, as you would a chicken for fricassee. Put into a saucepan, with several (minced) slices of cold ham or salt pork which is not too fat, and stew slowly for at least an hour—keeping the lid on all the while. Then stir in a large chopped onion, a half-spoonful of powdered sage, or a whole spoonful of the green leaves cut fine, half as much parsley, a tablespoonful catsup, and black pepper. Stew another half-hour, or until the duck is tender, and add a teaspoonful brown sugar, and a tablespoonful of browned flour, previously wet with cold water. Boil up once, and serve in a deep covered dish, with green peas as an accompaniment.

Common Sense in the Household by Marion Harland, New York, 1871

Bush Bust Blossoming; How Long Until Soup Lines Return?

The International Herald Tribune reports today that the Stock Market continues to slide. Help is NOT on the way, here, any more than it was when the bridge in Minneapolis hadn’t collapsed yet or the World Trade Center towers still stood tall in the New York autumn skyline.

If you still can, start a garden — even if it’s a few herbs in a hanging pot in a south-facing window.
If you still can, put aside some staple goods — paper goods, oatmeal, beans and rice, non-refrigerated chicken or tuna, peanut butter, jelly, dried fruits and vegetables.

And if you’re thinking about dieting, go in for exercise instead. If you can walk a quarter-mile to catch a bus, and from the bus to your destination, instead of driving, that’s one trip you can make without having to spend $3 for gasoline.

I am not speaking of becoming stingy. I am speaking of making better choices. That walk, repeated five times a week, will build muscle, reduce fat, lower cholesterol, and keep a vehicle off the road — all good things.

If you can’t walk or bus or bike, carpool. Fewer strangers in the world often means more allies.

And in case you ever need it, here’s a recipe for Depression Cake.
You’ll note it uses little that needs refrigeration, and calls for no dairy ingredients at all:
INGREDIENTS

* 2 cups packed brown sugar
* 2 cups hot water
* 2 tablespoons shortening
* 2 cups raisins
* 3 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1 teaspoon ground cloves

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium saucepan combine the brown sugar, hot water, shortening, and raisins, over medium heat. Bring to a boil for 5 minutes, then set aside to cool.
2. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease and flour two 8x4 inch loaf pans.
3. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, and cloves. Add the ingredients from the saucepan and mix until well blended. Divide evenly between the two prepared pans.
4. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Cool in pans for 10 minutes

Seeing that milk approaches $4 per gallon in my local supermarket, and eggs are now $2 per dozen, perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to return to recipes like this one.

Oh — and if you run a cafe or grocery or bodega or farmer’s market stand, think about contributing unsold goods to Second Harvest, PLEASE.

C'mon, I dare ya ...

Got fruitcake?

Gimme a recipe.

C’mon. I dare ya.

Chile recipe sought

For obvious reasons, I’ve started to hoard staples, and chile strikes me as cheap, healthy, nutritious food (but remember my hypertension).

But the only well-attested recipe I have involved ingredients like lots of olive oil, and olive oil is expensive.

So, anybody got any good recipes for chile? I’d like to be able to make it in big batches.

Deep Breath, Time Out, and Let's Pickle!

Whew! Been a bunch of busy bees here today, readers and writers and researchers and translators and good folk all around. Give yer good selves a wild cheer, round of applause, and all other well deserved kudos.

Now. We must at some point turn ourselves from the body politic to the body human, and fuel for same. Anybody here about to drown in garden produce? Too much of it to use, give away, or even feed to the pigs? Here’s a middlin’ easy solution to the problem. The list of ingredients looks long but modify it to suit yourself, that’s most likely what “Dr. Kitchiner” did in the first place. Gather ye veggies while ye may—

INDIAN PICKLE

Food to be pickled (see recipe for details)
1 gal. strong vinegar
4 oz. curry powder
4 oz. dry mustard
1/2 pint salad (olive) oil
3 oz. ginger root, bruised
2 oz. tumeric
1/2 lb. shallots, peeled and lightly baked
2 oz. garlic cloves, peeled & baked
1/4 lb. salt
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

The flavoring ingredients of Indian pickles are a compound of curry powder, with a large proportion of mustard and garlic.

The following will be found something like the real mango pickle, especially if the garlic be used plentifully. To each gallon of the strongest vinegar put four ounces of curry powder, same of flour of mustard (some rub these together, with half a pint of salad oil), three of ginger bruised, and two of turmeric, half a pound (when skinned) of eschalots slightly baked in a Dutch oven, two ounces of garlic prepared in like manner, a quarter of a pound of salt, and two drachms of Cayenne pepper.

Put these ingredients into a stone jar; cover it with a bladder wetted with the pickle, and set it on a trivet by the side of the fire during three days, shaking it up three times a day; it will then be ready to receive gherkins, sliced cucumbers, sliced onions, button onions, cauliflowers, celery, broccoli, French beans, nasturtiums, capsicums, and small green melons. The latter must be slit in the middle sufficiently to admit a marrow-spoon, with which take out all the seeds; then parboil the melons in a brine that will bear an egg; dry them, and fill them with mustard-seed, and two cloves of garlic, and bind the melon round with pack-thread.

Large cucumbers may be prepared in like manner.

The other articles are to be separately parboiled (excepting the capsicums) in a brine of salt and water strong enough to bear an egg; taken out and drained, and spread out, and thoroughly dried in the sun, or before a fire, for a couple of days, then put into the pickle.

Any thing may be put into this pickle, except red cabbage and walnuts.

The Cook’s Oracle by William Kitchiner, MD, New York, 1829

*****

Discussion: This recipe is clearly of British derivation, and the “Indian” in the title means the one in East Asia, not the more local folks. (When you see “Indian” as an ingredient in recipes from this time it most often means corn, as in “Indian meal.”)

Gherkins are just little pickling cucumbers, not a special variety. And pickling cucumbers if left on the vine too long turn in to just plain eating cucumbers. Don’t go by size, look at the end away from the vine (where the blossom used to be) and check for whiteness. No white: ready to go. Cukes that get out from under their local leaf, so as to be exposed to the sun, turn yellow. Don’t ask me how I know this. Don’t know if it harms them to pickle or eat because I think they look disgusting and throw them into the woods. Who knows, maybe volunteer cucumber will kill poison ivy—has anybody ever experimented on this?

Oh yes, red cabbage and walnuts can also be pickled, you just have to use a different recipe. Anybody interested, I’ll dig it up. Pickling, salting, smoking and canning were the only methods of preserving food for the winter in those days after all. And have you ever tried to smoke a walnut? Tastes terrible and hard to keep lit.

Lambert, you can use this pickle on squash blossoms too. Although if they’re still vanishing on you it’s faster to just pick them, dunk ’em in a beer-and-flour batter, and fry ’em up like onion rings. Better you should get use out of them than the Mysterious Squash Blossom Thief, which upon reflection would make a terrific band name.

Easy As F_ck Chicken Soup

I used to be an over-the-counter cold medicine junkie (only when I got sick). A couple years ago I developed an allergy to something in the OTC stuff. This and the Shystee Cold Remedy have taken care of me since.

You will need:

- 1 whole chicken (required)
- 3-4 large carrots
- 4-5 celery stalks
- 2 large onions (or a bunch of tiny baby onions)
- 8-10 small boiling potatoes
- 3 cloves of garlic
- pinch of thyme (if you have it around)

Cut carrots and celery widthwise every 3 inches. Cut ends off onions and peel. (bonus family trick: take 5 whole cloves and stick into onions) Peel garlic. Place all vegibles except potatoes in large stock pot. Add potatoes when there’s .5 hours of cooking time left.

Rinse chicken with cold water. Sprinkle inside and out with salt and pepper. Place chicken in stock pot and add enough cold water to cover it.

Bring to a boil then lower heat to a simmer. Simmer for 1.5 hours.

Cool down and place pot in the frigidaire over night. The next day, skim off fat solids with a spoon.

Remove chicken to a plate. Remove skin, rip off bite size chunks of chicken meat and add back to stock pot.

Re-heat soup and enjoy it for 4-5 days (if you’re single).

Eat What you kill

Does he deserve a pass, Sarah? No, he broke the law. He pled guilty. I accept that. But damn, castrate, kill, slaughter – Michael Vick (see comments, I also know these slogans were posted on placards outside the court house)? That is what I disagree with. That has been the reaction since this started. Like he is some serial killer or murderer or child molester. Castrate, kill, slaughter? I’ll simply never understand this seemingly irrational attachment to dogs. Then I find out the dogs are going to be destroyed? And it is standard practice to destroy pits that have been found in connection with fighting rings? Where is the outcry to save them? It is a cultural difference clothed in a claim to some greater sense of humanity. In a country built on genocide, with the death penalty, homelessness, no universal health care, police brutality, and hunger. So from a culture that is a little less neurotic, to help end hunger in America I say we put those dead pits to good use. Here is a wonderful dish:
From Joe Sweeney
Serving Size : 30 Preparation Time :3:00

Amount Measure Ingredient — Preparation Method
———— —————— ————————————————
3 kg dog meat — * see note
1 1/2 cups vinegar
60 peppercorns — crushed
6 tablespoons salt
12 cloves garlic — crushed
1/2 cup cooking oil
6 cups onion — sliced
3 cups tomato sauce
10 cups boiling water
6 cups red pepper — cut into strips
6 pieces bay leaf
1 teaspoon tabasco sauce
1 1/2 cups liver spread —
1 whole fresh pineapple — cut 1/2 inch thick

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire.
2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be
used in other recipes)
3. Cut meat into 1? cubes. Marinade meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn,
salt and garlic for 2 hours.
4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and
chopped pineapple and sauté until tender

Green Corn Pudding

The sort of thing I’ve been working on the last few days, since a certain database got goofed up and we have to rescue the escaping contents and stash them safely on new pages before they drift off to sea and are lost:

Green Corn Pudding

2 dozen ears corn
1 tsp. salt
1 tbs. sugar
1 qt. milk
2 eggs, beaten
2-3 tbs. butter

Grease a deep earthen baking dish with butter; grate with a coarse grater 2 dozen ears of corn, selecting such as are of equal ripeness; add tea-spoonful of salt, tablespoonful white sugar, a quart of milk, and lastly, 2 eggs well beaten; lay a piece of butter rather larger than an egg on top of all, put it into a slow oven, bake 4 hours; if the oven is too quick [hot] it will make the pudding curdle; when done it should be nicely brown all over, and the consistency of warm mush. Good for tea or dinner; may be eaten with sugar, but a little butter is better.
From The Economical Cook-Book by Elizabeth Nicholson, 1865.

***

Comment: Here we see a clear indication of the complete change that has come over the corn-growing process since the advent of large commercial agribusiness. In the 19th century corn was simply corn, without the distinction that exists today between “sweet corn” intended for human consumption and “field corn” grown to be fed to animals. (We will leave varieties intended for industrial uses like corn syrup out of the discussion entirely.)
So “green corn” here is not intended to mean that which is under-ripe, which would produce nothing but an inedible mess if cooked and severe indigestion if eaten. The ears should be fully grown, fresh and full of juice. The longer they age after ripening the harder and more dried out the kernels become, setting it on a path which would lead to the grist mill and a future as corn meal, hominy, grits, or dried cracked corn.

How to eat a decent meal despite it all ...

You’ll need a baking-size potato, a piece of butter the size of a small egg, three or four cloves of garlic, an onion half again the size of your butter, about half a cup of flour, about half a cup of milk, a little top round steak, some salt, fresh-ground pepper, a cast iron skillet, and a beverage of your choice.

Melt half the butter. Slice in the onion and half the garlic and cook gently until it goes clear. While it’s cooking scrub your potato and slice it very thin. Now add it to the onion and cook until the potato is brown and a little crispy on the edges.
Lift out onions and potato and set aside to keep warm — salt and pepper to taste.
Dust the steak in flour then brown on all sides in the pan drippings. Once it’s done lay it out on top of the potatoes and make the gravy: shake the flour into the pan with a little extra pepper and a pinch of salt, plus the minced remaining garlic. Keep stirring until it starts to brown a bit — no darker than a dry-roasted peanut. At that point stir in the milk, and keep stirring while you bring the gravy to a boil.

It goes thick all at once like some kind of magic, and if you wait too long it goes evil like papier-mache paste. Pour it over the steak. Serve.
No, it ain’t chicken-fried. But it’s decent eats.

How to Make a Frothing Wingnut

Other than by challenging their assumptions, that is.

Ingredients:

- 1 oz. Frangelico Hazel Nut Liqueur (because they’re Right Wing Nuts, after all)

- 1 whole ripe banana (because they’re bananas)

- 3/4 of a small (8 oz.?) can of Cream of Coconut (because they’re lazy coconuts who want other people to do the work and the dying for them)

- 4 oz. of Gold or Dark Rum. Do yourself a favor and go for some good stuff. Bacardi is the Cuervo of Rums. Yecch. I can’t recommend Flor de Cana, a slow-aged rum from Nicaragua, strongly enough. (because it takes strong drink to be able to deal with them)

- Lots of Ice. (because they really need to chill)

Directions:

Fill blender almost to the top with ice. Add all other ingredients. Blend.

Adjust for nuttiness with Frangelico and for potency with rum. The quantities of alcohol above are (appropriately) conservative. I think I used about 1.5 times as much when I made some last night.

I wasn’t really thinking about garnish, but a couple of things come to mind: two chestnuts on a toothpick and/or a cocktail umbrella covered in tin foil.

Kid Tested, Mutha Approved

Because we believe in Science over here on the left, I conducted a taste test with 8 of my friends last night.

Location: the front stoop of my friend’s Victorian. Weather Conditions: optimal. Music: Slayer.

I thought I would just make one batch as kind of a joke drink. But I soon received urgent demands for seconds from everyone.

We also had a control group of two people who had no idea what Frothy Wingnut means. The consensus: yum.

For your added chillin’ pleasure, I recommend this week’s Solid Steel Mix by Bonobo. Relaxed but festive. A good accompaniment.

How to toss a Ron Paul salad

Genius like farmer’s deserves to be front-paged:

In a mixing bowl:

1. Combine one cup of Pat Buchanan and one cup of Grover Norguist, whip to a high peak.

2. Mix equal parts church and state and whisk until thoroughly blended.

3. Pour mixture into the chilled bleached skull of a trade unionist; garnish with red white and blue sprinkles and a shiny gold coin.

Serve with White Nationalist Crackers (supply-sider up), and a thick slice of Strict Constructionist Cheese.

Makes an excellent accompaniment to any hot homemade Chicago Boys Dirty War Chili. (very popular in Latin America back in the 70’s).

Please, sir, I want some more!

NOTE What I was I thinking? Answer: I wasn’t thinking.

Pasta alla Carbonara

The name means coal miner’s or coalmen’s pasta. It could be a reference to the Carbonari, a revolutionary secret society active in early 19th century Italy. But it’s probably because, with the right amount of pepper (lots) it looks it’s been prepared by a coalminer back from a long shift.

Ingredients:
1/2 slab of bacon (omit for non-meaty version)
1-2 TBSP olive oil
2 cloves garlic (3-4 for non-meaty)
1/2 large yellow onion chopped
3 eggs
2 TSP black pepper
salt
1/2 cup grated parmesan
1 Lb. thick spaghetti (bucatini are great)

For both versions start here:
Crack the eggs into a small bowl, add parmesan, salt and black pepper and mix together thoroughly with a fork. The goal with this dish is to have the oil (or grease in the meaty version) ready and hot when the pasta is ready so it will cook the egg mixture when you put them all together.

Meaty Version:
Chop bacon into 1/4” chunks (widthwise), fry on medium heat in a flat pan with 1 TBSP oil in it. When bacon is just past the point of being raw, but before it turns crispy, turn heat down to low [you might want to pour out a little bit of the grease at this point, but not too much: it’s a key component] and add garlic, cook for 2 minutes, then add chopped onion. Put pasta water on to boil at this point. Cook onion until it is soft and transparent.

Non-Meaty Version:
Put pasta water on to boil, when it boils add pasta. Heat oil on low in a flat pan for 2 minutes, add chopped garlic for another 2 minutes then add onions, cook until onions are soft and transparent.

Both versions continue here:
When pasta is cooked, strain and put it back in the pot you cooked it in. Immediately add the contents of the flat pan, mix together quickly, then add eggy mixture from the bowl. As you stir vigorously, the egg should cook and the parmesan should melt. If the egg is still runny after stirring for a couple of minutes, you can put the pot on low heat for a couple minutes, stirring so the bottom doesn’t burn or stick. The dish should have a very strong taste of pepper, so if you can’t taste it much in the finished product add more.

From “The Nappy Gourmet Cookbook”, Shystee Press, 1999

Pumpkin pie spice, Russian Tea, and Onion Soup

[Prompted by Why do Republicans have disgusting eating habits?, alert reader The Other Sarah posted the following recipes in comments. And surprise! They don’t involve eating corporate swill. I’ve turned it into a blog post, so we can add it to our growing recipe book.]

Pumpkin pie spice is not hard to make. If you have ever made Russian spice tea or chai tea you know how to make pumpkin pie spice. It’s essentially 3 parts cinnamon and 2 parts ginger to 1 part each of allspice and clove and nutmeg. You need about two tablespoons for a really nice gallon of spiced cider; a teaspoon and a half will cover the average custard (pumpkin, sweet potato, or butternut/acorn squash puree) pie; it will also fulfill the need for seasoning in a 9-inch loaf of zucchini or pumpkin bread.

And since it’s flu season, here are two receipts for homemade remedies that actually don’t taste awful and help the scratchy throat, etc.

Russian Tea:
For a 12 oz cup mix
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
3 tablespoons of orange juice
Prepare 8 oz of boiling water and steep 1 teabag 3 to 5 minutes therein.
Remove bag and mix ingredients. Drink hot.

Onion Soup:
Thinly slice half a large onion. In a deep skillet cook this in 1 tablespoon of butter until it is clear and smells sweet. Now add 1 cup of good beef stock, bring to a boil, add salt and pepper to taste, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Pour in a mug and serve with shredded sharp cheddar cheese and toasted sourdough bread.

Simple, easy, tasty; more or less cheap as well.

Step one in taking back your life: turn off your teevee.

Step two: be thankful for what you have instead of going into (more) debt to keep up appearances in the consumerist lifestyle the corporations push.

In other words—it’s Thanksgiving, not the day before the shopping madness starts.

I’m The_Other_Sarah, and I approve this message.

NOTE See this post for why food is important politically. Read all the way to the bottom.

Raspberry Hog Wash Mignonette Sauce (for Raw Oysters)

Ingredients:

3-4 shallot bulbs
2-3 Jalapeno peppers
1 bunch of cilantro
1 basket of fresh raspberries
Unseasoned rice wine vinegar
S+P

Peel shallots and chop finely with a knife.

Cut stems off jalapenos, cut the remaining body in half, remove seeds and white inner membranes. Place in food processor and chop finely.

For a reasonably spicy sauce, you want a 2-1 shallot-jalapeno ratio. If you’re an unreasonably spicy person like myself, use more jalapeno.

Rip off and wash a small handful (3-4 tbsp) of cilantro leaves. Chop in food processor.

Chop raspberries in food processor.

Add all chopped ingredients to a small mixing bowl. Add 2-3 cups of rice wine vinegar. Season generously with salt and freshly cracked pepper. Add water to reduce acidity.

Once the mix tastes right, spoon a small amount of the sauce onto a raw oyster on the half shell and slurp loudly.

A Shystee variation on Hog Island Oyster Company’s “Hog Wash” recipe.

Recipe O' the Day: Vanilla Ice

Sometimes I do things just to fuck with people looking things up on search engines. I am evil that way.

VANILLA ICE

2 pints milk
8 oz. cream
small piece vanilla bean
12 oz. sugar

Two pints of milk, eight ounces of cream, four grains of vanilla, twelve ounces of sugar, split the vanilla [bean], and cut it into small pieces; beat it with a little sugar in a marble mortar till it becomes powdered;
put it into a stew-pan or skillet, with the milk, cream, and sugar; let them boil till the whole is sufficiently thick, then strain through a cloth, and pour into a bowl to cool. 

From “Madame de Genlis” in The Carolina Housewife by Sarah Rutledge, 1847

Granny Xan’s Comment: “Madame de Genlis’” term for the quantity of vanilla to be used here is a bit unclear. A “grain” was indeed a unit of measurement, but a very small one: 20 grains made a scruple, three scruples made a drachm (or “dram”) and it took eight drachms to make an ounce. So “four grains” would hardly seem to be enough to flavor this quantity of milk, cream and sugar. We leave the matter to the discretion of the cook. Additionally, it would seem like the author has taken for granted the final step of putting the recipe through an ice-cream freezer (which were perfectly well known in the 19th century) as the resulting product would otherwise be known as “vanilla pudding.”

It was quite common in 19th century cookbooks for individual recipes to be attributed to a specific source, usually a person known to the author or otherwise locally famous for superior cookery skills. This added a touch of uniqueness to what was otherwise just a collection of the same receipts as were carried in every other cookbook in the store. It also gave both author and donor a shot at a bit of fame in a time when this was a rare opportunity for women. “Respectable” women, at any rate.

Red Beans & Rice Mondays

+++

I received the following e-mail from a friend who lived in New Orleans, who has maintained the tradition of Red Beans & Rice Mondays for a good, long time.

Hi
I will be cooking Red Beans and Rice at the Edendale Grill on Monday, the 19th, and perhaps every Monday for a while. The purpose is to raise money to send to the Musicians Relief fund, which takes care of New Orleans musicians, and their family’s, needs.

http://www.denverpost.com/music/ci_30135…
http://www.wwoz.org/clinic/
http://www.jazzfoundation.org/new_orlean…
http://jazz.about.com/od/grantsfoundatio…

Come on down. It’s a good cause. The money goes directly, without ’staff’ expenses between your donation and the recipients. I had thought about doing this here at my house, but realized I could raise way more money there.

The Edendale opens at 5, but dinner will be served starting at 6, until around 10.
See you on Monday
Janet

The Edendale Grill is located in Silverlake, CA, just south of Hyperion and north of Glendale Blvd. It is in what had been a fire house for many decades. As this event will continue on consecutive Mondays, I think I have a new short-term tradition that will satisify my soul on many levels.

The vitals:

Edendale Grill
2838 Rowena Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90039

(323) 666-2000 tel.
(323) 666-2442 fax.

I hope to arrive around 6:30 or 7:00. Hope to see many, many faces there, and I hope to hear some good jazz too!

+++

Image from here.

+++

Revisiting Reality in food stamps in Oregon

Oregon’s governor finds Polish sausage and hamburger helper staples of a food-stamp budget for dinner. What are good alternatives? Post your thoughts!

(Dry pasta is ok; Hamburger Helper, its kith and kin, and their generic relatives are way high in sodium & artificial not-so-nutritious ’ingredients,’ among which might be potentially melamine-adulterated gluten ’vegetable proteins.’) So how to live on $3 a day, in food, or less?

Here’s a start (skillet supper for two):

1 pkg vermicelli (39 cents)
1 large can spinach ($1.49 cents)
pinch salt
two pinches pepper
pinch nutmeg
two tsps butter or margarine (divided use)
1 clove garlic, crushed
water
3 Tbsp grated parmesan cheese (about 1/12 of a $3 wedge)

2 tbsps flour
1/4 cup dry milk
1/4 cup dry buttermilk powder
1 cup water
1/4 tsp vanilla flavoring

In large dry skillet toast flour; melt in 1 tsp butter; mix milk powders and flavoring into water and pour this into roux; cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. Pour up, rinse skillet.

Strain spinach; add enough water to juice to make 3 cups, and bring this liquid to boil in skillet. Add remaining butter, spices and vermicelli; cover and cook 20 - 25 minutes over medium-high heat, until most of liquid is absorbed. Add spinach and heat through quickly. Pour onto platter, spinkle cheese over and top with sauce.

Breakfast muffins:

1 small can pumpkin or 1 large can crushed pineapple
or 2 cans sliced (drain these) carrots, (99 cents)
OR 1 1/2 cups applesauce (79 cents per pint)
1 pkg oatmeal muffin mix (Jiffy brand, $1 for two)
1 tbsp butter
1/2 cup raisins or dry cranberries ($2 for 1 lb of raisins or $3 for 1 pkg dry berries; you will use about 1/4 of either fruit)
1 tsp vanilla flavoring
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
water

Preheat toaster oven to 375 F.
If using pumpkin, put canned pumpkin in mixing bowl and add 2 Tbsp water; mix well. Beat in spice, berries or raisins, then muffin mix and turn batter into buttered muffin tin, filling about 3/4 full per cup; bake 30 minutes or until toothpick punched into center comes back clean.

If using pineapple or applesauce omit additional water
If using carrots, lightly drain and mash them; omit additional water

The butter is for stopping the muffins sticking in the tins.

Lunch:
2 tbsp peanut butter (30 cents)
1 tbsp jelly (10 cents)
2 slices bread (50 cents)
1 orange or 1 banana or 1 apple or 1 pear OR 1 individual serving yogurt (59 cents each)

These menus assume that you have a pantry available and access to a stove, although not a microwave.

It used to be possible to keep butter or margarine and milk and eggs in an ice chest, but I am not sure if that is still a price-practical alternative to having a small refrigerator.

The yahoo story about the governor says he can’t afford coffee. That may not be true, but certainly he can’t afford Starbucks. Tea bags, particularly generic ones, are cheaper than coffee, and tea may be made by hanging bags into the neck of a jar or bottle of water. I don’t know if this trick also works with “Folger’s singles” but those are not an economical alternative to regular brewed coffee. In Texas you can buy fairly cheap store-brand coffee for about $3 a pound, and for one or two drinkers a one pound can will last a month.

When I was a (very broke — living on a VA stipend of $280 month, out of which had to come my rent) college student, I used to buy a cup of coffee every other morning at the campus cafe. This would cost me 49 cents, but give me a chance to stock my pantry: I’d slip six or eight extra packets of sugar and creamer into a pocket from the “help yourself” table. I also picked up, from time to time, salt, pepper, ketchup, and crackers. Thievery? Probably; but the cafe only charged a nickel for a pint of boiling water in a styrofoam cup. I could take one of those, a packet of pepper, half a packet of salt, and three foily-envelopes of ketchup and two packets of crackers and have soup for supper. They had a pizzeria line, so crushed red pepper and dried powdered parmesan were also on offer, but I found both of those very nasty. For an extra quarter, that pint of boiling water would come with two packets of ButterNut hot cocoa mix.

I’m no fan of beans-and-rice or generic mac-n-cheese, but I do like canned greens and vegetables or fruits, because you can use them different ways, and you can get them cheaply if you’re careful.

Of course, regular oatmeal is a bargain, too, even if you do the 3-Minute Brand or Quaker Oats; if you use apple juice in place of the water for cooking oatmeal, and add a pinch of spice, you can have a lovely filling breakfast or supper for about 75 cents per person.

Rib Rub

A foreign friend asked what Memorial Day was all about. “Barbecue” someone answered.

This recipe is guaranteed to tenderize even monster swine from the Red State forests:

- 1 TBSP Cumin
- 1 TBSP Unblended mild chili powder
- 1 TBSP Sugar
- 1 TBSP Salt
- 1 TBSP Ground black pepper
- 1/2 TBSP oregano
- 1 1/2 TBSP Garlic Powder

Mix spices together in a bowl. Sprinkle generously on the raw ribs and rub it into the meat, covering every inch of the surface.

No need to boil the ribs or any of that foolishness. Just cover the ribs in saran wrap, or even better, place them in large ziploc bags. Refrigerate for at least two hours or leave out for at least one hour before grilling. The rub completely tenderizes the meat and leaves a nice outer crust.

*Shopping tip: any latino or asian mini-mart will sell spices for a fraction of what they charge in big chain supermarkets.

Shystee Cold Remedy

You will need:
- peppermint tea bag
- slices of washed, unpeeled raw ginger
- slices of lemon
- honey
- optional, if you can find them, 4-5 cardamom seeds
- also optional, but highly recommended: splash of whiskey (as disinfectant and cough suppressant)

Pour boiling water over the above.

Tantra For The Tongue

For the last 7 days, the 2nd-3rd most e-mailed story in the NYTimes has been about macaroni and cheese. Not only macaroni and cheese, but cats, as well. Do you need any further evidence that our nation’s people are paralyzed by the deepest clinical depression since 1932? I cried at Brokeback Mountain, I freaked over Terry Gilliam’s dispatch of an adorable kitten in The Brothers Grimm, yet I sit here hardly lifting a finger as my country goes down the tubes and we skate ever closer to genuine facism. I am Exhibit 1 for the case for public depression.

So as long as we’re going to be depressed, let’s wallow in it. Below is the recipe I got for mac and cheese from a former co-worker. It is better than the NYTimes recipes for mac and cheese. It is better than any mac and cheese I’ve ever had, and may well be a tantric meditation leading to one’s final entry into heaven when eaten.

(BTW, the “Out of Iraq” event went rather well, and we hope to do more and similar events in the future. Thanks to those who came or spread the word. Stay tuned.)

• 2 blocks each of Kraft sharp, extra sharp, and mild cheddars, shredded
• Big box of Velveeta
• 4 eggs
• 3 cans evaporated milk and a little whole milk
• 3 1/2 one-pound boxes of elbow macaroni
• Salt to taste
• Breadcrumbs if desired

In saucepan combine canned milk with Velveeta. Stir till melted, add salt.

Cook macaroni.
In large pot or dish, combine macaroni, shredded cheese, and cheese sauce.

Add eggs.

Put in casserole, top with shredded cheese and breadcrumbs.

Bake at 350 degrees about 1 1/2 hours.

This should feed 40. If you have any left over, give me a call.

Tater Cake

Old-fashioned, filling, tasty food.

Cold mashed potatoes — about 3 cups
3 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cup butter, melted
Salt
Pepper
Enough flour so batter isn’t syrupy

Heat a cast iron skillet well; skim the inside with a few drops of vegetable oil.
While that’s working up, beat the egg, butter, baking powder and buttermilk into the potatoes. Season with salt and pepper and thicken the batter, if need be, with flour a teaspoonful at a time.

Pour in skillet and cook as you would hotcakes.

When I was a kid, we’d have these for supper with gravy, and breakfast next morning with syrup.

Sausage McMaple McMuffin my sweet aunt Fanny.

The Julep Post

In honor of the venerable Kentucky Derby, I offer you Mint Julep Blogging Friday, and a little something to go with—a story on making the perfect julep, and a recipe for it as well. First, the recipe: 2 cups granulated sugar 2 cups water (branch water is ideal) Fresh Mint Crushed Ice Kentucky bourbon (2 ounces per serving) Make a simple mint syrup by boiling sugar and water together for 5 minutes; cool. (This recipe makes enough syrup for 44 juleps.) Place in a covered container with 6 or 8 bruised mint sprigs. Refrigerate overnight. Make a julep by filling a julep cup or glass with crushed ice well-packed into the cup, then adding 1 tablespoon of mint syrup and 2 ounces of bourbon. Stir rapidly with a spoon to frost outside of cup or glass. Garnish with a fresh mint sprig and a straw cut short enough so that you almost bury your nose in the mint as you sip.

And now, the story, from a 1937 letter at the Buckner Family website:

“Go to a spring where cool, crystal-clear water bubbles from under a bank of dew-washed ferns. In a consecrated vessel, dip up a little water at the source. Follow the stream through its banks of green moss and wildflowers until it broadens and trickles through beds of mint growing in aromatic profusion and waving softly in the summer breezes. Gather the sweetest and tenderest shoots and gently carry them home. Go to the sideboard and select a decanter of Kentucky Bourbon, distilled by a master hand, mellowed with age yet still vigorous and inspiring. An ancestral sugar bowl, a row of silver goblets, some spoons and some ice and you are ready to start. In a canvas bag, pound twice as much ice as you think you will need. Make it fine as snow, keep it dry and do not allow it to degenerate into slush. In each goblet, put a slightly heaping teaspoonful of granulated sugar, barely cover this with spring water and slightly bruise one mint leaf into this, leaving the spoon in the goblet. Then pour elixir from the decanter until the goblets are about one-fourth full. Fill the goblets with snowy ice, sprinkling in a small amount of sugar as you fill. Wipe the outsides of the goblets dry and embellish copiously with mint. Then comes the important and delicate operation of frosting. By proper manipulation of the spoon, the ingredients are circulated and blended until Nature, wishing to take a further hand and add another of its beautiful phenomena, encrusts the whole in a glittering coat of white frost. Thus harmoniously blended by the deft touches of a skilled hand, you have a beverage eminently appropriate for honorable men and beautiful women. When all is ready, assemble your guests on the porch or in the garden, where the aroma of the juleps will rise Heavenward and make the birds sing. Propose a worthy toast, raise the goblet to your lips, bury your nose in the mint, inhale a deep breath of its fragrance and sip the nectar of the gods. Being overcome by thirst, I can write no further.”

Me, too.

The Other Sarah's SOTU Lemonade

So, if we get lemons—let’s make lemonade!

1/4 cup lemon juice
3/8 cup sugar
1 1/2 pints boiling water
Ice

Pour the boiling water over the sugar. Stir until dissolved. Stir in juice. Serve over ice.

Or, for the SOTU—make a double batch. Stir in half of a fifth of black-label Jack. Serve over ice.

But I think Sarah forgot the last two steps:

Empty glass.

Throw glass at television set.

To cook with the tablecloth like English.

So I’m working on a recipe from 1832 called “Apple Poupeton” and trying to find out what the hell a “poupeton” is. The online dictionaries all say it is “a puppet, or small baby” which is weird enough, then that it is “obs.” which I sure hope means “obsolete” as we trust that small babies are not yet classed as obscene, although in the case of puppets one can never be certain. But then one more hit comes up, which we present to you here as we haven’t had any recipes lately. Let this serve as much as a warning of the bizarrities of computerized translators as a possible food item:

Poupeton of zucchini flowers :

4 zucchini flowers
160 gr. of cream pâtissière
260 gr. of cutters of Carros
butter

Poêler cutters with butter then to drain them. To cold mix to the pâtissière then to stuff the flowers. To cook with the vapor. To disencumber. To reserve.

Soup frozen with the white chocolate:
milk 1l
6 egg yolks
100 sugar gr.
250 white chocolate gr.
250 gr. of fresh cream
100 gr. of Cointreau

To boil to lait. Blanchir it yellows and sugar. To cook with the tablecloth like English then to pour on the crushed white chocolate. To mix and add the fresh cream and Cointreau. To reserve for the expenses.

Raising and completion :
In a soup plate, to ring a brunoise cutters of Carros related to the honey of accacia, to deposit above a stuffed zucchini flower. To pour the soup frozen with the white chocolate then quenelle of ice violet.
To accompany this dessert by crusty arlette (expert swordsman of feuilletage sweetened and caramelized).

Freeze with the violet :
1 milk L
6 egg yolks
½ L of cream
200 sugar gr.
160 gr. of trimoline
380 gr. of crystallized of violet

To boil milk. To bleach the yellows and sugar and the trimoline. To cook with the tablecloth like English. To cool the whole on ice. Then to incorporate crystallized violet and to put to harness.

Go forth, me hearties, “to cook with the tablecloth like English!” And may you always put to harness your expert swordsman of feuilletage, sweetened and carmelized.

Damn. If it ain’t dirty it sure ought to be.

Very Basic Buttermaking

A while back Lambert asked me to contribute a series on butter and cheese making. I got distracted with real life (PhD finshing) and so put it off for a bit, but decided this rainy morning was a good time to start. My favorite doe, Miss Mack, gave birth to 3 doelings late last night, and I’m still up from the excitement of that. For about the first 10 or 12 hours after they are born, I have to check on them every 90 minutes or so. Can’t help myself. They are cuteness personified. Anyway…

First, some of my credentials for butter and cheesemaking. I run a very small goat dairy, populated by very small goats (Nigerian Dwarves), in WA state. I have been making cheese and butter for about 5 years now. I’ve taken several classes, some taught by world famous ’artisanal’ cheesemakers. I do not, currently, sell my cheeses because that would be illegal. I do barter however.

Buttermaking Basics:

The most minimal equipment needed to make butter:
very clean mason jar with lid
clean low-sided bowl and spoon
fresh cold water

Ingredients for Butter:
cream: You can buy heavy whipping cream (which will have been ultra-pasteurized) from the super market for this. If you can get cream straight from the cow/goat/sheep/buffalo/horse/camel more power to you. You can also get creamtop milk in some places. This is pasteurized but not homogenized. You can then skim off the cream to make butter and use the milk to make cheese.
buttermilk: This will provide more flavor, like European butter. It’ll also allow the butter to age, and get more flavorful over time. Get the cultured kind, the kind with live culture.
salt: Use non-iodine salt. This is generally pickling or kosher salt. Iodine will kill all the little beasties that make the flavor.

Put the cream into your mason jar.

Let the cream sit out for at least several hours, or even a day, at room temperature, about 65-70 F. When you set it out to sit, add in a bit of buttermilk if you want to culture in some extra flavor. Ultra pasteurized cream will not have any flavor without the buttermilk. Generally I’d add about 1 Tbls of buttermilk to each cup or pint of cream. If you are using raw cream you don’t need the buttermilk.

The sitting out is important, because this allows the beasties in the buttermilk (or raw milk) to grow and sour the cream some. This is what gives some flavor. If you are using straight pasteurized cream, sitting out will not be important since there’s nothing to grow, but do let it get to room temp or a bit below, as temperature is important for the coagulating of the cream.

Once the sitting time is over (I tell by sniffing. It still smells like fresh cream but there’s something else there too) start shaking the mason jar. Have the lid screwed down tight. I use plastic lids that you can buy to replace the two piece canning lids that usually go on the jar. Anyway, shake. Hand it to your partner and have them shake it. Kids can shake, everyone can shake. Shake.

If the cream was cultured really well the butter will come quite quickly, sometimes within minutes (with the raw milk cream from my goats). Sometimes it’ll take longer. Your arms might hurt a bit :). Suddenly while shaking you’ll notice the cream moves different in the jar. It seems like it’s coating the sides, thickly. Then just as suddenly the cream will be gone, and there will be a big lump of butter, careening around in the jar in a small amount of buttermilk. It’ll thump and stick to the sides. Shake it a few more times and then drain off the buttermilk (save it, use it in cooking bisquits, pancakes, making bread, soups, stews, or starting cheese!).

Put the lump of butter into your clean low-sided bowl. I use a blue enamelled bowl, so I can easily see colors and clarity. Using fresh very cold water (if your water is chlorinated I might think of using bottled water) wash the butter. Basically, pour some water into the bowl and using the spoon knead and mash the butter back and forth. The water will instantly become whitish. Pour it off, and add more water. Knead and mash some more. Keep repeating this process until the water is clear. This process gets out the buttermilk which’ll cause the butter to sour and turn rancid over time.

Once the water runs clear pour it off and knead the butter a bit more. You’ll notice it’s getting stiffer as you do this. Try and get all the water out. Then add a pinch or two of salt (if you want your butter salted). You can taste it a bit to see how salty you want it, if at all. It’ll last longer with the salt.

You can use it right away, or put it into a sealed container in the fridge, or freeze it. If you used raw milk cream or added buttermilk to get some culture the butter will continue to age in the fridge and eventually turn into a very very high fat cheese like product.

You can do away with the shaking by using a kitchenaid or other kind of mixer. However, I’ve found that this process is not as easy as the jar, and it’s too easy to let it get past the butter stage and ruin it. On the other hand, you sure do save your arm muscles.

Wassail Your Troubles Away

Here’s to the old pagan tradition of wassailing the apple trees. From the Sulgrave Manor website we read:

” Apple trees were sprinkled with wassail to ensure a good crop. Villagers would gather around the apple trees with shotguns or pots and pans and made a tremendous racket to raise the Sleeping Tree Spirit and to scare off demons. A toast was then drunk from the Wassail Cup. Wassailing was meant to keep the tree safe from evil spirits until the next year’s apples appeared.

Oh apple tree, we’ll wassail thee
And hoping thou wilt bear
For the Lord does know where we may go
To be merry another year
To grow well and to bear well
And so merrily let us be
Let every man drink up his glass
And a health to the old apple tree
Brave boys, and a health to the old apple tree”

And a number of other variations on this theme can be found around the net, here:

“A cider-soaked cake is laid in the fork of a tree and then more cider is splashed on it. The men fire their guns into the tree and bang on pots and pans while the rest of the people bow their heads and sing the special ‘Wassail Song‘. This custom is said to ward off bad spirits from the orchard and encourages the good spirits to provide a bountiful crop for the following year.
In other traditions, the men of the village went out to the orchards carrying the wassail bowl, to alternately serenade and browbeat the apple trees. There were songs, dances and libations (for tree and man) until finally, in frustration, the trees would be threatened with the axe if they did not produce well in the coming year. A newspaper account of 1851 documents Devonshire men firing guns (charged only with powder) at the trees.”

and here:

“It was apparently an old midwinter custom (old Christmas eve or old twelfth night or some such time) to get together in an orchard and drink cider or strong beer, possibly warmed and spiced, have a bonfire, fire shotguns into the tres ’to frighten off hte evil spirits’, sing, and depending on local tradition carry out various customs, the most common of which was for a piece of toast on which some cider had been poured to be put nto the oldest tree ’for the robins’. “

and here:

“Wassail is an ale-based drink seasoned with spices and honey. It was served from huge bowls, often made of silver or pewter. The Wassail bowl would be passed around with the greeting, ’Wassail’.
Wassail gets its name from the Old English term “waes hael”, meaning “be well”. It was a Saxon custom that, at the start of each year, the lord of the manor would shout ’waes hael’. The assembled crowd would reply ’drinc hael’, meaning ’drink and be healthy’.
As time went on, the tradition was carried on by people going from door to door, bearing good wishes and a wassail bowl of hot, spiced ale. In return people in the houses gave them drink, money and Christmas fayre and they believed they would receive good luck for the year to come.
The contents of the bowl varied in different parts of the country, but a popular one was known as lambs wool. It consisted of ale, baked apples, sugar, spices, eggs, and cream served with little pieces of bread or toast. It was the bread floating on the top that made it look like lamb’s wool.”

The recipe for making a wassail bowl found in The Joy of Cooking is about as authentic as you can get:

“WASSAIL
• 1 dozen apples
• 1 cup water
• 4 cups sugar
• 1 tablespoon grated nutmeg
• 2 teaspoons ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon ground mace
• 6 whole cloves
• 6 allspice berries
• 1 stick cinnamon
• 1 dozen eggs, whites and yolks separated and reserved
• 4 bottles sherry or madeira
• 2 cups brandy
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Core and bake apples for about 30 minutes, until tender but not mushy.
In a saucepan, combine water, sugar, nutmeg, ginger, mace, cloves, allspice berries and cinnamon and boil for 5 minutes. Let cool.
Beat egg whites until stiff, forming soft peaks, but not dry. Separately, beat egg yolks until light in color. Gently fold whites into yolks, using large bowl. Strain cooled sugar and spice mixture through sieve into eggs, combining quickly. In separate pots, bring sherry or madeira and brandy almost to the boiling point.
Incorporate hot sherry or madeira with the spice and egg mixture, beginning slowly and stirring briskly with each addition. Toward the end of this process, add brandy. Just before serving and while mixture is still foaming, add baked apples. Serve in a heat-resistant punch bowl or in individual mugs.”

You can read a similar recipe with song and story here.

A couple years ago some friends and we sang and danced around the old man apple tree in our back yard (the “old man” being the oldest, largest of the trees), and we had a remarkably huge crop of fruit from all the trees the following summer.

While I can’t recommend the activity for everyone, I enjoyed it immensely, and although the drink itself wasn’t as tasty as I’d hoped for, it was an interesting exercise in reconnecting to the past. But on this, the nub end of the old year and the brink of the new, I can’t think of anything better than to wish you all better days and better luck. As the old song says: