I promise you, the ones in South Shore and Boystown will always work perfectly, while the ones in certain lily-hued, properly religious neighborhoods will strangely malfunction whenever one of the Good Chicagoans is misled into temptation by a gay, black devil.

Julie Farby - All Headline News Staff Writer
Chicago, IL (AHN)-Chicago Mayor Richard Daley says that if Chicago wins the right to host the 2016 Summer Olympic Games, security and terrorism won’t be an issue because, by that time, there’ll be a surveillance camera on every corner.

During a meeting with the Sun-Times editorial board, Daley said, “By the time 2016 [rolls around], we’ll have more cameras than Washington, D.C. … Our technology is more advanced than any other city in the world — even compared to London — dealing with our cameras and the sophistication of cameras and retro-fitting all the cameras downtown in new buildings, doing the CTA cameras.”
Besides unveiling his 2007 budget plan, Daley assured the audience members that, “By 2016, I’ll make you a bet. We’ll have [cameras on] almost every block.”

I am so fucking sick and tired of politicians taking advantage of the security madness sweeping this country. Daley is not exactly an evil man, but it’s well known that he’s got plenty of monarchic tendencies and a proven record of hitting his political enemies below the belt. Having lived in Chicago long enough to see how the police treat with the poor, gay and brown communities there, I have no faith whatsoever that such technologies will be used for anything other than keeping Da Mayor and his allies rich, strong, and corrupt.

Communities need to understand that it’s much, much harder to undo a “security” apparatus than it is to install one. Agencies and technocrats become strangely attached to the monies and authorities they are granted by the winds of political fashion. And worse, they are motivated to find excuses for those budgets and powers, which means even if there is no terror threat, a domestic equal will be found to replace it.

I would wax nastily about how once again, sports are being used as a cover for ever encroaching state control, but I don’t want to offend my sports fan base. At least my Chicago friends remaining in 2016 will be able to rent out their pads for huge dollars. The ones who haven’t been swept up in a vice raid, that is.