If you feel like taking a break from today's Patriotic Hoo-Rah, the rest of the world will be watching Italy vs. Germany in the World Cup semi-finals at 3 pm Eastern. It's going to be a grudge match.

La Repubblica (June 27, 2006):

... [Der Spiegel] editorial columnist Achim Achilles compares our soccer players to the beach types he encounters while vacationing on the Adriatic. The many "Luigi's", "parasitic forms of life", "wicked" mama's boys who exploit women and do nothing but complain.

The caption for the photo in the piece showing Francesco Totti's post-goal celebration gesture, reads: "Totti sucks his thumb: this is normal among Italian men."

...

"The Italian man, let's call him Luigi", writes Der Spiegel, "is a parasitic life form". It cannot live without a host animal "from which it sucks all it can". "Luigi," according to the German journalist, "is perennially engaged in demonstrating his need for help."

"His primary objective in life is the continuous ostentation of exhaustion, and his preferred host is "La Mama", his big breasted wet-nurse who washes his socks and cooks him pasta every day with a nice thick sauce". He goes on to describe the Italian mama's boy who stays at home until he reaches 30 years of age and then marries a "pretty girl who he then transforms in another big breasted Mamma to whom he pays no attention, busy as he is polishing his Fiat and talking about cars."

The pretext for this Teutonic venting of cultural prejudice is the penalty kick that allowed Italy to beat Australia the day before. Yes, it's true, the Italian player totally took a dive in the penalty area. But hey, every team I've watched has tried to do this, it's just that the Italians do drama better.

Der Spiegel eventually removed the words "parasitic life forms", and then the article from it's website after email protests from the many Italians who live in Germany. The background is that in many ways Italians are to Germany what Mexicans are to the US. For decades Germany has been the rich neighbor to the North, where poorer Italians, especially from the South, go to find work.

Achim Achilles closes his article with "Dear Luigi, we have a couple of accounts to settle from our last Italian holiday". Indeed. Italy beat them to win the World Cup in 1982. Bring it, Ze German bitches! Forza Azzurri!

PS: Totti's thumbsucking is supposed to be in honor of his son.

PS2: If you're going to watch the game make sure you watch it on the Spanish channels. They bring "La Pasion" like the whiteys just can't.