Tonight's game was between New Orleans and Atlanta.
I don't even know who the quarterback on the field for the Falcons was; I'd have no idea of his name if it hadn't said "REDMAN" on his jersey, and I'd have no clue what the score of the game was -- throughout the fourth quarter -- had the scoreboard icons not appeared bracketing commercials.
The reasons? Mike Tirico, "play by play" announcer Tony Kornheiser, analyst Ron Jaworski and sideline reporters Suzy Kolber and Michele Tafoya -- all they wanted to talk about all night long was Michael Vick.
Reggie Bush sat out the game; he has a torn ligament in his knee, and it may sideline him the rest of the season; but I didn't find that out listening to the game, I found it out on the web. I only heard from Kornheiser and company that Bush is "unmotivated" and "makes an astonishing amount of money for a guy in his second year in the NFL".
I've never heard a more pathetic bunch of gossip-oriented kibitzers in my life, spouting irrelevant opinion and bloviating about things that had N.O.T.H.I.N.G. to do with the game on the field in front of them, than I heard on ESPN's MNF broadcast tonight.
I just *thought* the NFL-TV crew that "covered" the Cowboys vs. Packers last Thursday was bad (Hey, Bryant Gumbel? Yeah, the Cowboy Quarterback's name is Tony Romo. Not Rick.)
I do know, by heart now, that Michael Vick will spend 23 months in prison -- and that prisoners have one TV for every 25 or 26 inmates, and that efforts to isolate Vick for his own safety may not be successful, and that he won't have anybody to throw to so he can't practice or stay in shape or keep up with new developments in the game during his forced exile. Oh, and that the Falcons' owner was "tight" with Vick, walking with him on the sidelines.
GAH. I wanted to hear what was happening on the field, know what Drew Brees was doing in this game that could get the Saints a notch nearer a wild-card. I'd already heard on the news that the sentencing hearing for Atlanta's former quarterback happened today, and he got what we've been being told since September he was apt to get: not the max because the judge wasn't interested in upping his own "tough on crime" rep, not the minimum because Vick had shown no remorse and had lied repeatedly to the court as well as doing other stupid things (coming to a hearing high).
So, you know, I do not care that Michael Vick might not be able to come back to the NFL in 2009 or 2010. In fact, it's a travesty that he can be considered for it -- he's a convicted (and a confessed) felon.
Shove that up your Kornheiser.
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People Magazine on the gridiron
The reason these fools talk about everything but the game is because they don't know anything about football. Every time they actually focus on what's happening on the field they get it wrong; safer by far to stay with the gossip. If it weren't for Madden there wouldn't be anyone left worth hearing.
Patriots, 18-0
I dunno, Bringiton -- People would give the *score*
in a picture caption, or something.
I did notice Disney owns ESPN.com and all its associated blogs and bulletin boards.
I would have loved to have heard, oh, John Madden do the color on this game, and a play-by-play guy who actually sort of knew what down it was, what the yards gained on the last play were, how much time was left, and oh, yeah, what's the name of the guy in the Atlanta Falcons uniform who's actually out there throwing passes and handing off the ball? You know, the one who's trying to win this ball game? The (third?) different QB this year for the Falcons?
Or hey, talk to me about Warrick Dunn -- the Falcon whose off-the-field shenanigans include GIVING HOMES to single parents in Atlanta. And his own hometown, and his alma mater's city. Twelve years in the league.
The Falcons have a lot of personnel of whom they should be proud. Morten Andersen may or may not be one (25 years in the league? Are you kidding me?
Must say the Saints' backup runner wasn't horrible. Drew Brees might still get his guys a 17th game this year. Talk to me about that.
Tell me what's working for the Saints and what's not working for the Falcons -- how come their guys aren't hanging onto the ball better at the end of those dink-and-dunk passes underneath?
Surely, surely ESPN hasn't always sounded this much like Faux News?
ESPN teabagging the Pats
WTF
is up w/ESPN and its constant knee-bending worship w/the Patsies? First of all, New England is overrated. Did any of the dickheads at ESPN ever happen to notice that the Pats play in the WEAKEST FUCKING DIVISION OF THE ENTIRE NF FUCKING L?! Obviously the Dolphins are a major obstacle with their intimidating 1-14 record. Then there are the Super Bad Jets AND the whompin' badass Bills to contend with -and that doesn't even include teams like Washington! (Nice job of running up the score there Brady, you chlamydic germbag.) And let's not forget the refs who suddenly came up with the oh-so-overstated "Tuck" rule. More recently, the Pats resorted to spying on other teams -and got caught, of course.
But never you mind all of that. ESPN is here to tell you that New England is the DEFINITION of football. To the extent that the NFL is as legitimate as the WWE, I would fully agree with Tony Kornholer ad nauseam. btw I never, I mean NEVER- see Pats fans anywhere EXCEPT in the haughty New England area, along with all of their upper crust show poodle peers. In contrast, I see Steelers fans ALL OVER THE US! I see Dallas fans ALL OVER THE US! And, of course, I see colts fans ALL OVER INDIANA. But if they win one more SB, I will see them ALL OVER THE US!
ESPN is under the delusion that we all keep Chapstick and kneepads by our tellies so we won't miss any game involving Tom Brady, Bill Bellicheat, and the Gaytriots.
Somehow, I think ESPN is blinded by its own stupidity and misunderstanding of the market.
Quit crying like a bitch.
Quit crying like a bitch. Patriots aren't overrated. The beat the Steelers, Colts, Cowboys, and Chargers. Stop lying to yourself and go get a life.
Okay, POF. you had me up to "Gaytriots."
guffaw. I can see how a Jets fan would be an embittered person this year.
However before you go off on a claim that ESPN is overinflating the Patriots record somehow, please note that their conference record is 6-0 while their season record is 16-0, meaning that they have beaten some less-than-inept teams along the way. Like for instance Indianapolis, and Dallas, and San Diego, and Pittsburgh, and other playoff-bound teams.
I am just so tickled we picked up a football troll of all things.
Never mind the wreckage of the economy, the looting of the treasury, the trashing of the constitution....oh, had you not noticed these things were going on, POF? Stick around, you may find things to upset you even more than ESPN's "fluffing" of the teams of New England.
The Pats are 16 and 0
Chapstick and kneepads by the telly? The mind reels.
++++
Kneepads for Huckabee
Verbatim, from commentor Dianne Lau of Wisconsin Rapids:
What Diane will get up to when Brett Favre and the Packers start the playoffs can only be imagined; while surely filled with JOY and definitely exhilirating, those knees are going to take a beating.
ick, BIO. and sarah, well, what did you expect?
it's TeeVee after all. fake, unreal, filled with ignorant people and misinformation and outright lies. i think BIO has it right. you've got to think of foootbawl as you do politics. that is: the people in the media who cover them are paid for the way they look and sound, not for what they know about any subject. they are there because they will make their owners/ceos/bosses look good, and look good within a universe that you and i and the Little People don't live in and can barely understand.
i bet they laugh, privately, at actual football fans. i bet football media people sit around and have jokes on you, "ha ha, those rubes think this game isn't rigged and these coaches, refs & players aren't on the take/taking drugs/both." just like the politics media people can and do laugh at us for believing that party identity means something in the beltway.
i can't stop thinking of the Zen moment i saw on a simpson's once. /really think about that./ "just don't look" and the monsters fall over and die. just don't watch teevee, and (romantic voice) the People can reclaim all the things that matter in life; sports, politics, fashion, the environment...
Well, the Patriots game yesterday was proof
as if I needed any that there is an NFL rule: Thou Shalt NOT Beat a Tom Brady Team.
Helmet-to-helmet licks on Miami's running back and receiver? Check. Flags? Nope.
Pass interference complete with a horsecollar before the ball got there, by a DB who never looked for the ball? Check. Flags? Nope.
Delay of game for snap counts, no flag? Check.
I don't much care who plays them in the Super Bowl, but I hope whoever it is beats the living pigsnot out of them.
Chris Schenkel
was ahead of his time is all, posthumous apologies for thinking that a complete lack of knowledge and blithering inattention to what was actually happening in the moment were drawbacks to a broadcaster’s art. But then sports broadcasting was how Ronnie Reagan got his start so there must not ever have been much of a talent requirement.
The beginning of the end of sportscasting quality can be traced to the emergence of the Super Bowl party, because now you had people following sports that otherwise only watched soap operas and read tabloids in the supermarket checkout line. Down-in-the-weeds analysis couldn’t connect with the new demographic so topics shifted to gossip, personal anecdotal irrelevancies that the casual observer could relate to and remember for conversation around the watercooler. Actual sports fans? They’ll figure it out on their own, or not, whatever; gotta get the hook into the peripheral viewers, that’s where the growth is – and the money.
Sometimes it’s difficult to remember I’m an optimist.
Sportscaster vs. sportswriter
Having done sportswriting for money -- in fact, really having "sportswriter" as my job title twice, 20 years apart in different media -- I can tell you that sportscasting doesn't have to be an ode to irrelevant trivia. Relevant trivia is a different thing -- but then again, relevant trivia such as how well a player's playing, who's fouled out of the basketball game or been injured on the football field is the essence of sportswriting. Sportscasting, not so much; especially ESPN/NFL style "casting," where you have a "team" of people who have to fill all the air time, whether they have anything to say or not.
I also did a very brief stint as a radio sportscaster in college, and HATED it, because instead of being able to do game descriptions and give scores and then update the schedule, what was wanted was "color" -- and I was not a football player.
It works the same in politics
Refer back to Bringiton's Chris Schenkel comment the next time you want to complain how badly the electoral coverage sucks, for political reporting works on the same principles. The reasoning applies that sharp political observers will find out what they need to know regardless, so the media focuses on the peripheral observers with their horserace coverage and Katie Couric softball questions. Again, that's where the money is.
I'll also remind y'all that Roone Arledge, who was one of the inventors of modern sportscasting, eventually was promoted to head ABC's news division, and brought many of the techniques he developed in sports broadcasting with him.
...for the rest of us