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Flawless victory! Former Green Beret identifies "Blackwater Fever: The Symptoms"

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Via commenter Linda at TPM, weapons-grade snark from former Green Beret Patrick Lang at Sic Semper Tyrannis:

Blackwater Fever: The Symptoms

A common disease among international contractors working in Iraq, Afghanistan and various other 3rd world hellholes. Frequently attacks young men with 1 war or enlistment under their belt, State Dept agents, Former LEOs, anyone associated with an Ambassador's detail and occasional poseurs. BKWF has many symptoms; if you have the following you may be infected:

1. Large amount of primping, i.e. mousse in your hair despite the fact you live in a war zone.

2. Your forearms break out in tattoos, often tribal or USMC related

3. All your shirts are skintight "Under Armor" T-shirts

4. Have used, currently using or consider using steroids

5. Refer to yourself as a "Shooter" or "Operator for Blackwater"

16. Look puzzled when someone refers to the pool as a "Sausage Fest"

17. You carry a drop-leg holster, wear a Federal Agent Badge, flash bangs, 5 or more pistol mags, asp, handcuffs, surefire light , leatherman,
on your belt and a Gerber mark II strapped to the outside of your boot, in the embassy complex.

21. When your advance goes out on mission, Army MPs secure your perimeter.

23. Despite earning a six figure income you wear a ragged ball cap that has not ever been washed

33. Often email pictures of yourself in body armor, weapons and kit to all your friends, family and anybody that you have their email address.

And of course, #22, the key to the whole mess, and why Blackwater is worse than Abu Ghraib:

22. Believe by running locals off the road you are winning their "hearts & minds".

Shorter Lang: Suck. On. This. Mercenaries.

Does anybody know if Willard Mitt Romney's top terra advisor, Blackwater operative Erik "with a K" Prince, uses mousse? I'm guessing yes.

TROLL PROPHYLACTIC We're quoting a former green beret, mkay? And readers: Please don't feed the trolls.

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Comments

Submitted by lambert on

Deference-destroying mockery. Absolutely essential. Believe me, the prophylactic has nothing to do with the main event.

We. Are. Going. To. Die. We must restore hope in the world. We must bring forth a new way of living that can sustain the world. Or else it is not just us who will die but everyone. What have we got to lose? Go forth and Fight!—Xan

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Submitted by Sarah on

left out, whether from politesse or because he, being a genuine veteran, had forgotten this phenomenon in the past I cannot guess.

Many hired killers applied to one of the uniformed services and washed out of basic military training for psychological unfitness.

We. Are. Going. To. Die. We must restore hope in the world. We must bring forth a new way of living that can sustain the world. Or else it is not just us who will die but everyone. What have we got to lose? Go forth and Fight!-- Xan

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