GOP "Contract With America" Confesses to Meth Habit, Love Affair w/Summer Squash, Sordid Candy Laundering Scandal

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GOP Contract With America as Seen Outside Court of Public Opinion

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What had once been a handsomely appointed Republican coach (with earnest footmen to boot) came to an ignominious end as the tolling of Midnight Bells took place across America this November 7th, 2006. The GOP "Contract With America" came home from the ball just a bit late and more than a bit trashed--the seeds it was spitting out of its slackened mouth were of unknown origin, further suggesting its fall from grise. Frankly, it looked like shit.

There was no Cinderella in sight, nor her Glass Slipper...no Prince and no Fairy God Mothers. Just a decaying gourd, melted candle wax and the pitiless moans of a dying character. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you your GOP! (Boo! Hiss!)

And yet: We who support our constitutional form of government must know fiercely in our hearts and minds that the opponents of transparent democracy will not just roll over and die. The Game is on and will always be on! Get used to playing!

Fear the GOP? The home of rotting memes and empty promises, a gaggle of repressed hypocrites and money-grubbing domesticated fowl hunters? Yes, they have lots of wealth and a core set of voters, all wrapped pita-bread style around their corporate golem-like amorality and their desire to destroy our secular form of government, but they will lose. We know the game now--the trick to understanding their duplicity is to pay special attention to their mouths: when they open them they are lying.

The game is indeed on! Are you?

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