Recently in some comments, the old, doddering DFH commenter known here as Bring It On was whining about his overly cautious concern and discomfort with New Ideas, again, and telling younger, prettier people like me that We Wuz Wrong, and our newfangled notions about garden beds were Dangerous to America. Now, he’s always saying something similar about my political ideas, but rarely do I get a chance to not only know I’m right and he’s wrong, but prove it with photos.

Heh. Today is that day. I have two words for you, Oldster: One. Week. That’s how long the plants I’m going to show you have been in their raised, grass clipping-infused beds. And it’s been a brutal winter, and dry as a bone spring. And I didn’t cheat: these have not received even the organic fertilizer I bought. Nope, this is just my method, about a 1/2 week of sunshine, my love, and the blessing of the Goddess. Look upon them and weep, you doubting, doddering, doltish Dylan wannabe, you.

Some of what I’m going to show you is more than a year old, some are perennials, some are annuals, some are big-box bought, and likely genetically engineered, some are home grown from heirloom seed. Some are in deep shade, some are in full sun. All were planted with the method I described to you in my previous garden post, and all have only been moving for the last week, or in the case of the perennials, the last month. Which for this part of the country this time of year, is actually exceptional. I had stuff coming up and blooming in April as well, I’m sorry I didn’t post on that more. But, if I may puff my chest this morning, no one else in my ’hood has anything close to the bloom/spread I’ve got right now; other than bulbs most people are still looking at little green shoots and leaves and not much else. Standard Warning: lots of big pics, so slow going for you dial up people.

These ferns got moved into an area that receives about 1-2 hours of light a day. Ferns always do well in the shade, but I confess I was sort of amazed by how fast they came up and uncurled. Ferns are like sprinters: once they get going, they explode with speed and performance. They also “walk,” that is, if you plant one in one year, the next year you’ll get 2 or 4 somewhere near the original, and more and more over a wider spread each year. They are also close to unkillable. I’ve found ferns pushing up from beds I deeply tilled, covered with organic material 2ft deep, etc. And gawd, aren’t they beautiful? Again let me stress that if you have a shady, “nothing will grow here” area, Ferns are your answer. Heh, I lifted this (I think they’re called) corm, put it in a raised bed, killed 1/2 it’s roots…and then it froze in a snap freeze for two days. And my babies are still comin on Strong! Eat your heart out, Republican neighbor who spends 0000$ on a pro landscaping service next door. She’s still waiting for hers to appear.

I got one of these last year; this year I’ve split the original plant and have six of them, all removed to new spots in a shady area, before a late frost, and all but one are blooming now. It’s one of those low growing things that makes a spring flower and just sits there in a spiky mass for the rest of the year. But it’s so cute! The @$#^%@#%$ dogs keep pissing on it, hence the brown center.

Exactly One Week Ago, this bigbox bought pansy had no flowers and actually looked a little on the dead side; that’s why I bought it- they were about to throw it away and so I got that flat really cheap. Look at it now: need I say more?

English Daisies are the best. Cute, long blooming, easy to spread, shade loving, many adorable colors, easy to grow from seed. This one showed up unexpectedly on a raised bed for something else and I said, “What the fuck? You can stay.” A week ago it had one bloom; today it’s got five although I couldn’t fit them all into the shot. Heh. Big like my dildo, bitch.

Got these at the nursery from My Guy Ken. He rocks, because he gives me free plants and also Knows His Shit. I forget what they’re called, but since the 7 days that have passed since I put them in, they’ve doubled the bloom amount. Neener, Neener.

From the Shade Bed, which I’ll talk about more later. 3 years going, and will you look at how that wild Violet is making lil babies all over the place? (all those smallish things will come up to be the size of the purple-blooming plant) The Lamia is in full, early spring glory and I’ve got boatloads of it. Everyone who walks by can’t help but notice: under my “problem” trees like pines and early leafing maples, there are blooming flowers where others have hardpack and struggling grass. That thing to the side is one of my hand made mosaic tiles, don’t laugh at it, please. I sort of like it, and it’s made from recycled materials like broken bottles that they won’t take at the dump due to odd color.

My crowing glory this month. I started these from seed last year, and now, OMG! They are blooming, profusely, in the most magnificent blue color. I can’t remember what the yellow stuff next to it is, but I think the blue one is called “Forget me not.” Feh, I’m as bad with plant names as I am with people’s names, sue me. Anyway, this is another shade performer, the stuff I’m showing you is in full light but all the other ones, even the ones I pulled up and moved and got frosted, are all doing as well. And they have been blooming for 3 weeks now, and show no signs of stopping. Fuckin A, baybee!

I’d really like BIO to choke on this last one. It’s sitting entirely in organic material; there is no ’dirt’ anywhere in this bed. I put it in exactly seven days ago, we’ve only had about 3 good days of light, it’s big-box bought and didn’t look so good when I got it, and had only one bloom at that time. Hahahahahahahahah. Did I mention under those leaves are grass clippings?

BIO knows that I am mocking him in complete love and with the good spirit born of gardening success, and that I utterly respect his perspective and experience. Listen to his doubts, he likely has a very good reason for questioning me other than his need for a spanking by a big, black dyke. But FWIW, these are my results with a mix of stuff, over a fairly early and short time, in a harsh season after a hard winter. So there you go.

Time to get to work. See y’all later.