For all the throngs out there, especially those wearing thongs, who have been wondering where I have been... "I cannot bear another day without one of Shystee's inane self-referential rants!"

Well, I have been battling an alien symbiant from the planet Nickatina. I was able to detach it one week ago, but it lurks nearby, at the downstairs neighbors', at the corner sto'...

As horrible as it sounds I am tempted, constantly, to reattach my Face Hugger. The alien symbiant knew how to work it's tendrils up my nose and tickle my brain's pleasure centers. Only when I fed it what it wanted, of course. Then it would make me feel smart, confident, fast.

And the whole time it was draining the life out of me. Implanting the seeds of my destruction. I knew it full well. And I want it back.

The rational thing to do would be to find ways of generating that mental state with healthy means. But that requires effort.

I'm just sick of evil old bastards twice my age like Donny Fucking Rumsfeld looking in better shape than me. WTF? Maybe it's being in control of the most awesome military force the world has ever known. He must get his strength through an osmosis pyramid scheme built on the bodies of thousands of soldiers dead and alive.

Health is a human right not a lifestyle reserved for yuppies dumb enough to buy low carb beer.