The RNC has announced a $10 Million cash shortfall in funding for it's upcoming national convention. To help close the gap the Telecommunicating Association Companies of the United States (TACUS) has announced an effort to assist. "For the last 10 days of August we'll be donating a portion of our profits to help with RNC's expenses," said TACUS spokeswoman Fisah Wyretapper. "To show how grateful we are the republicans came to our rescue we're coming to theirs." Asked if TACUS would also be assisting the Democrats Wyretapper said, "No, but we'll be buying box lunches for some blue dogs."

RNC representative Perry Pander expressed gratitude and spoke of how the cash would be used, "We have some tire gauges on back order then I think we'll fund the 'Winatude Blimp' that Special Citizens of America's Middleclass (SCAM) has designed for the convention." Asked the purpose of the blimp Pander responded, "To show America John McCain is not full of hot air."