WaPo:
Cloneburgers won't come with warnings. When the government approves food from cloned animals, expected in the next year, the Food and Drug Administration doesn't plan special labels. Government scientists have found no difference between clones and conventional cows, pigs or goats.
However, shoppers won't be completely in the dark. To help them sort through meat and dairy products, one signal is the round, green USDA organic seal, says Caren Wilcox, who heads the Organic Trade Association.
"Organic animal products will not come from cloned animals," she said.
Understand, please, that this is not an "anti-science" post.
Probably, according to the best science, there is no (detectable) difference between cloned meat and real meat.
However, those tests don't put the cloning process into the industrial, corporate context.
And given what the corporations do with uncloned food, I shudder to think what they'll do with cloned food.
No thanks.
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You never know
Cancer could be tasty. It's bound to become a delicacy somewhere.
But I still believe
And I will rise up with fists!!
But I still believe
And I will rise up with fists!!
Eew...
Is "delicacy" really the word we want, here? I'm not sure...
I will happily eat clones
And descendants of clones and whatever. What I would prefer to eat is cows which:
--are fed on grass. No corn, beans, etc. (much less parts from other animals which is just an offal thing to do anyway). Cows are evolved to eat grass, that's why they have those 4-part tummies and cud-chewing habits and such. Eating corn and beans makes them sick, which leads to bad habits like...
--are not given antibiotics except when actually, like, sick. Of a bacterial infection. This is where antibiotic resistance comes from, not too many mommies demanding That Pink Goop when their babies are screaming with ear infections. It's a lot easier to make mommies with screaming babies feel guilty than it is to make ADM and agribiz producers feel bad that they give antibiotics by the ton, literally, to cows because it increases the profit margin per animal by a few cents by making them grow faster on less food. We are evolving bacteria at such a pace that they're going to be centuries ahead of us shortly if not already. This is, um, dumb. Stop it.
--are not given hormones at all. If Cow A gives more milk than Cow B, keep her offspring for future use and send Cow B's progeny off to the slaughterhouse. I mean, duh. Unless you want your little boys to have nice titties and your little girls to be menstruating in kindergarden? This is going to be outlawed pretty soon anyway, so why not just get out ahead of the curve.
Actually what I want is a tip on a book publisher who pays big advances. This NYT piece the other day, combined with my 19th century cookbooks, gives me a guaranteed bestseller but I need the dough up front so I don't have to go get a job at Walmart instead of putting the book together. Probably I need an agent given my demonstrable lack of business acumen, so anybody with tips on that is appreciated and thanked in advance as well. :)
“Understand, please, that
"Understand, please, that this is not an “anti-science†post."
Actually, it pretty much is.
it takes guts...
... to make a joke that bad, Xan. Brains, too, actually!
No authoritarians were tortured in the writing of this post.
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi
I thought I was going to have to eat
'umble pie as nobody was noticing my awful offal joke.
(historical note: "umbles" or "humbles" was an even older term for animal guts/offal, the parts (aside from liver, thymus gland ("Sweetbreads") and kidney which were considered delicacies) which were eaten only by the poor or desperate. They were usually chopped as fine as possible and baked in crusts, mixed with vegetables or fruit if available to help cover the unexciting taste.)
Reminds me of "Cut Me Own Throat" Dibbler
and his meat pies, if anyone else reads the Ankh-Morpok series.
Or possibly Sweeney Todd.
No authoritarians were tortured in the writing of this post.
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi
How do you introduce a hamburger?
Meet Patty...
(from Prairie Home Companion's Bad Joke Show)
No authoritarians were tortured in the writing of this post.
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi
So this would not be the time
to tell the story about the irate bus driver whose punchline is "two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester Cleese picking bunions on the Sesame Street bus", would it?
I didn't think so. Probably get us rude letters from a Certain Fast Food Chain's legal department anyway. Just as well.