You remember the story from a few months back about the Oklahoma judge? Courtroom employees, and even jury members, were noticing odd...buzzing...noises coming, apparently, from the region of the judge's bench. From under it in fact.

Turned out he was, er, playing with a penis pump. Not even on his own time, mind you, although such things are frowned on in most workplaces, but while court was in session for chrissakes He got indicted for (I imagine some hilarity went on during discussion of exactly what charges were applicable here) indecent exposure. Four counts. He was deflated, er, I mean convicted yesterday. But look at what it's gonna cost him to have failed to learn a lesson most people with genitals of the Outie variety pick up some time before entering preschool:

The conviction will require Thompson to register as a sex offender, which could jeopardize his $7,489.91-a-month pension from the state.

Geez o pete, if that's what he gets as a pension WTF do they pay judges in Oklahoma? Do they technically have to have, like, a law degree and stuff? Because it sounds like there's about to be an opening, and I am for damsure available.