JC Christian wrote a letter to a Mr. John Petroski about Petroski's paean to rape.

Upon reading Petroski's slippery words I couldn't help but feel he was talking to our President about Iraq. Guess I'm funny that way. Regardless, some lyrics ensued...

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No-bid Rapists On Parade

don't drink no scotch
don't snort no coke
days are dry, he don't get high
his little soldier needs a poke

yeah, I know she's ugly
yeah, I know she's afraid
no one does her for free
(no-bid rapists on parade)
who needs a wet dream
when you can cream
in mesopotamia
(no-bid rapists on parade)
I'll hold her down
you grab her wrist
come on boys
lets do the twist
maybe even kiss
no-bid rapists on parade

mamma weren't no looker
dad was kind of thin
your brothers really scared you
when they took away your gin
you showed 'em all, george
you're the vine and the grape
who needs this talk of love
when all you need is rape
no-bid rapists on parade

what, your knees are sorta tired?
and your back is kind of sore?
you ain't finished your business, boss
pull out the stops and go full bore
she can't even feel you
she'll never cum
you're getting soft and rather pointless
but your work is never done

yeah, I know she's ugly
yeah, I know she's afraid
no one does her for free
(no-bid rapists on parade)
who needs a wet dream
when you can cream
in mesopotamia
(no-bid rapists on parade)
I'll hold her down
you grab her wrist
come on boys
lets do the twist
maybe even kiss
no-bid rapists on parade

mamma weren't no looker
dad was kind of thin
your brothers really scared you
when they took away your gin
you showed 'em all, george
you're the vine and the grape
who needs this talk of love
when all you need is rape
no-bid rapists on parade

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