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Obama Golf

myiq2xu's picture

By popular acclaim, we are offering for your amusement and edification the exciting new game "Obama Golf"!

The rules are simple, and any number can play: To win, change an innocuous Hillary statement into a wankfest-worthy statement in the fewest number of strokes:

Hillary says “We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.”

0. "Assassinated"

1. Black leaders have been assassinated

2. Obama is a black leader

3. She was talking about assassinating Obama

Three strokes, total. (“Teeing up” the initial trigger word does not count as a stroke).

The first player/team takes quote out of any statement by Hillary (or Bill, any campaign staff member,prominent supporter or anyone else you deem worthy of defamation and vilification) and the second player/team has to transmogrify it to an offensive statement or slur about Barack Obama in the fewest possible number of strokes.

The first "stroke" must have a semi-logical connection to the "tee" and each successive stroke must do the same to the stroke immediately preceding it

After an agreed upon number of turns, the player/team with the lowest score wins that round.

Let's try another example:

“Buenas noches! It is wonderful to be here,” Sen. Hillary Clinton said this evening after touching down in Puerto Rico.

0. Buenas noches

1. Spanish for "good night"

2. Night is dark

3. "Darkie" is a racial slur used to refer to blacks

4. Obama is black

5. Hillary was dogwhistling a racial slur directed at Obama.

Five strokes.

See how easy it is?

NOTE For more examples of how to play, see the earlier version of the game. -- lambert

0
No votes yet

Comments

FlipYrWhig's picture
Submitted by FlipYrWhig on

0. Wonderful to be here
1. "It's wonderful to be here" is a key lyric in "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"
2. When that album was released, it spurred rumors that Paul McCartney was dead
3. Hillary wants Obama dead

vastleft's picture
Submitted by vastleft on

0. Rico
1. Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act
2. Hillary is accusing Obama of corruption. Nice way to tear down the party, lady!

scarshapedstar's picture
Submitted by scarshapedstar on

0. "I've passed the Commander-in-Chief test"
1. African-Americans perform poorly on standardized tests
2. Eugenics advocates once attempted to remove "low-IQ" segments from the gene pool
3. Hillary wants to castrate Obama

But I still believe
And I will rise up with fists!!

But I still believe
And I will rise up with fists!!

OxyCon's picture
Submitted by OxyCon on

The article basically goes like this:

"First, our own Jonathan Martin started a small fire. Then we contacted the Obama campaign, and they obliged us and poured gasoline all over the small fire, causing a giant firestorm. But I was shocked! Shocked! I tell you to find out that later that day, actual people got burned. Then later, we bothered to actually listen to what Hillary Clinton had really said and we were all like 'oh well, shit happens'. Anything goes when you want to be the bestest blog there is".

http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?u...

OxyCon

joc's picture
Submitted by joc on

“Buenas noches! It is wonderful to be here,” Sen. Hillary Clinton said this evening after touching down in Puerto Rico.

0. "to be"
1. Clearly, Hillary is taking the 'to be' option from Hamlet's soliloquy.
2. She is forcing Obama to take the 'not to be' option.
3. Hillary wants Obama to commit suicide.

gqmartinez's picture
Submitted by gqmartinez on

o. Hello
1. Hello is clearly a reference to the Beatles song "Hello, Goodbye".
2. [I'll let you fill in the rest]

Only tyrants rig elections.

dotcommodity's picture
Submitted by dotcommodity on

0. who's here? Me.
2. Who isn't...."here"?........ Obama
3. So Obama is no longer "here" in existence

{{cackles evilly}}

myiq2xu's picture
Submitted by myiq2xu on

Is lambert bitter?

And this fine speller:

I’ll play

1.Post something from correntewire

2.Physco duchebag kool-aid drinking moron.

Two strokes, I win.

Of course assassination leads directly to the thought of assassination, so your stupid metaphor doesn’t work retard.

Go crawl back into your hole.

And from the Wankmeister himself:

John Cole Says:

Leave it to Lambert to bring the crazy:

Hillary writes an Op-Ed in the NY Daily News (the exclusive is a nice touch. As is the choice of newspaper itself).

First, she deals with the latest smear from Obama and his lying liars*:

Sigh.

Truly Malkinesque

------------------------------------------------
“I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.” - Will Rogers

x

------------------------------------------------
“I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.” - Will Rogers

FlipYrWhig's picture
Submitted by FlipYrWhig on

Of course assassination leads directly to the thought of assassination

Of course the whole flippin' controversy is over whether "assassination" referred in any way to Obama. But, wait, when she made the remark she was also talking about Bill Clinton... Oh my God, she wants to kill her own husband! She's like Clytemnestra!

Swift Loris's picture
Submitted by Swift Loris on

"I was asked about whether I was going to continue in the presidential race."

Race.

myiq2xu's picture
Submitted by myiq2xu on

As a prize, you will receive a open-ended vacation in Iraq.

Please report to your nearest Army recruiting station to claim your award.

------------------------------------------------
“I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.” - Will Rogers

x

------------------------------------------------
“I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.” - Will Rogers

vastleft's picture
Submitted by vastleft on

0. Going to continue
1. I Will Survive
2. Gloria Gaynor
3. Mitzi Gaynor
4. Mitzi Shore
5. Pauly Shore
6. Polly want a cracker
7. Cracker
8. Racist

Case closed! Watch the widdle victim try to weasel her way out of that iron-clad evidence!

myiq2xu's picture
Submitted by myiq2xu on

Calling Bagger Vance!

------------------------------------------------
“Rules are not necessarily sacred,
principles are.”
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

x

------------------------------------------------
“I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.” - Will Rogers

Submitted by lambert on

There needs to be a cup or medal awarded for virtuoisity. This one surely deserves it!

[x] Any (D) in the general. [ ] ?????. [ ] Any mullah-sucking billionaire-teabagging torture-loving pus-encrusted spawn of Cthulhu, bless his (R) heart.

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. -- Mahatma Gandhi

Submitted by lambert on

Best laugh I've had all day!

[x] Any (D) in the general. [ ] ?????. [ ] Any mullah-sucking billionaire-teabagging torture-loving pus-encrusted spawn of Cthulhu, bless his (R) heart.

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. -- Mahatma Gandhi

vastleft's picture
Submitted by vastleft on

0. Trigger word
1. Tiger Woods
2. You're saying that all multi-ethnic people are the same!

FlipYrWhig's picture
Submitted by FlipYrWhig on

The magical ne... Ah, hell, that's like teeing off from inside the cup.

gqmartinez's picture
Submitted by gqmartinez on

o. God Bless You
1. "God" is a reference to Obama not being a Christian.

Only tyrants rig elections.

Susie from Philly's picture
Submitted by Susie from Philly on

1) Clinton: “I sure don’t believe the United States government was behind AIDS.”
2) AIDS kills a lot of people in Africa.
3) Obama's father is from Africa.
4) Clinton is part of a conspiracy to kill Obama with AIDS!!!