General JC Christian dug into the past and uncovered some guy named Osama bin Laden. Probably made him up out of whole cloth. Or a burkha.

Anyway, I was moved to write some lyrics...

I Don't Know How to Thank Him

I don't know how to thank him
What to do, how to spank him
I've been used, yes really used
In these past few years, when I've seen the tears
I feel like someone else
I don't know how to shake this
I don't see why he uses me
He's a tool
He's just a tool
And I've had so many tools before
In oh so many ways
He's just a whore
Should I visit his ranch
Should I call him out?
Should I speak of Rove
Let my jihad out?
I never thought I'd come to this
What is George about?

Don't you think about the Sunnis
I should reap the whirlwind
I'm the one, Osama bin...
So right to rule, not Cheney's fool,
Running the whole show
He dares me so--hah!
I never thought I'd say this:
What is George about?
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I would blush, I'd be excited
I wouldn't mope, I'd rope-a-dope
I'd leap from bed. I'd talk & say:
I think that you should know
He is my bro
It's truly so
He let me go

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And should you find yourself humming at the water cooler, don't forget to add lyrics:

Osama bin Laden, Superstar

Osama, hey-sama, sama-sama ho
Sama-hey, sama-ho-sama
Hey George B., George B.
You forgot about me
Sama-ho, sama-hey, Superstar!

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*Osama Bin Laden appeared in Summerstock Theater in Nebraska, Iowa and Utah this past July and August. "Osama bin Laden, Superstar" recouped its investors' funding.

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Why does the General inspire me so? Why is this Manly Man such a Muse to my Madness? Because, damn you! Because!

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Image from here.

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