So sayeth the LATimes and I’m sure a host of other publications. I’ve been busy with ASOR and other stuff this week, so I’m a bit behind on my reading, but I just have to chime in, because the irony is killing me.

Let’s take it apart, argument by argument.

n a battle that many felt Pelosi made unnecessarily bitter, House Democrats turned aside her personal pleas and arm-twisting and elected a Pelosi rival, Rep. Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md.), to be House majority leader over Rep. John P. Murtha (D-Pa.).

-snip-

Still buoyed by their election day victories, some Democrats were left wondering why Pelosi had injected herself into a bitter leadership battle with her last-minute support of Murtha over Hoyer, who had long been on track to claim the No. 2 job.

Dog whistle: Democrats are bitter. Rhymes with “angry” and “rabid.” See America, they chose a crazed, bitter (lesbian) woman to lead you. All they can do is hate.

Hoyer didn’t merely defeat Murtha, Pelosi’s strong preference, but trounced him in a 149-86 vote as House Democrats met to choose leaders in the wake of a midterm election that gave their party control of the House and Senate for the first time since 1994.

Dog whistle: “Centrists” are the true strength of the party. Not only did they single handedly win the elections despite the failed strategies of the progressive wing, they overcame Pelosi’s crazed, (dyke) unwomanly display of authority to put the Right Men in charge. Nancy needs male authority to guide her, after all.

A big factor in Murtha’s loss was the concern about ethics problems in his past and his reputation as a backroom dealer who is cozy with lobbyists — a profile that critics said would undercut the anti-corruption message that Pelosi broadcast in the midterm campaign.

—snip—

Another challenge faces Pelosi in the coming weeks, when she is to choose a new intelligence committee chair. Rep. Alcee L. Hastings (D-Fla.) is in line, but some Democrats fear that he, like Murtha, will come under fire for past ethics lapses. Hastings was impeached as a federal judge in the 1980s.

—snip—

Pelosi is a strong believer in rewarding those who are loyal to her, through thick and thin. Five years ago, for example, she stood by then-Rep. Gary Condit (D-Ceres) when he was fighting for reelection amid allegations that he had had an affair with an intern who had mysteriously disappeared and was eventually found slain.

Irony is dead! Dead I tell you, dead! Because clearly, Nancy and the progressive wing of the party that got the DLCers elected in spite of themselves, surely everyone knows: we are the corrupt ones, the ethically challenged. Yup, that’s us. Not the “I voted for Bush’s war” or “the BK bill is a good thing for America” or “Habeas Corpus? Posse Com? Whazzat?” wing of the party, the ones dick-deep in K Street lobbyists. Trust your SCLM to remind you of the scandals that really matter: not Man-Boy love in the Page program, not criminal negligence in the conduct of the war, not the destruction of the Constitution in the form of 30 felonious acts by the President…breathe, CD. Just breathe.

People close to Pelosi say there is a one-word explanation for why she took the unusual step of weighing in on Murtha’s behalf: loyalty.

—snip—

“She always says, ’I’m a risk taker. I’m loyal to my friends, and I stick with them in difficult times,’ ” said a Pelosi aide, who, like other staff members, asked to remain unnamed in order to discuss the internal workings of the Democratic caucus.

Poor leadership skills, no doubt. I mean, who here thinks a leader should be “loyal?” That’s almost as dirty a word as “liberal” or “San Francisco.” It fills my mouth with offal to say it. And we all know the wimminfolk don’t know a good risk when they see one; that’s why we don’t trust them with money or the keys to the car.

The incoming House speaker apparently did not anticipate that Murtha’s past ethics problems would become an issue, assuming that it was ancient history.

But the past was resurrected by Murtha’s critics, and cable networks began to play decades-old Abscam videotapes that showed Murtha rejecting a bribe in a way that seemed less than definite.

Clearly, Nancy doesn’t understand the priorities of the American trustafarian media that runs this nation people. They want her to take into consideration scandals of decades past so long as they have to do with Democrats, and not Republicans recently put in charge of the Pentagon. Murtha’s past is fair game, wholly appropriate, and as important as the Missing White Woman of the Week. Because the cable networks tell us so, just like the Bible.

Pelosi said after the vote that she had no regrets.

“I stand very, very proudly behind my endorsement of Mr. Murtha,” she said. “As I said in my letter to members on Sunday, I believe the biggest ethical challenge facing our country is the war in Iraq.”

Some Democrats said that the setback could send a message to Pelosi that rank-and-file members want her to reach beyond her inner circle and not try to run the party with top-down leadership.

Nancy: I think we should focus on the war. I think that’s what the American people want us to do.

Presstitutes: Setbacks! Failures! Topless top-downs! Spurious non sequiturs that relate to Beltway discourse and not the reality effecting millions! You did not hear the word ’Iraq.’ These are not the drones you’re looking for.

…and you have to love how often the article quotes “some” and “unnamed” sources.

Look, the bottom line is that no smart progressive honestly believes that we elected an all-progressive Congress. We understand that while our efforts played the largest role in the overall victory for the party, we’re giant killing here and it’s going to take several battles to clean out the Rahms and DLCers and lobby/consultant addicts. They have the money, the chits:

Hoyer had been gathering chits for years.

Does anyone have an issue with this piece criticizing “top down” and “bitter” leadership techniques and at the same time glossing over the rather undemocratic process of “collecting chits” to attain position? Hello, what did Americans ask for in the election? And end to corruption, and the war. Pelosi and Murtha are the fucking public faces of that, you fucking media whores. Don’t like it? Too bad. This makes me sick:

Pelosi followed Murtha’s lead after the longtime hawk dropped his support for the war in Iraq and called for a U.S. withdrawal, a position that put both of them at odds with Hoyer. Pelosi believed Murtha’s leadership on Iraq helped change the national debate and contributed mightily to the Democrats’ victory on election day.

Still, even after Rummy’s departure, even after Bush finally admits that the war “isn’t going well,” even after an election that was a goddamn sea change, the media whores and their BFF in the conservative wing of the Democratic party can’t admit the war is a loser in every conceivable way. “Pelsoi believed???” No, dipshits, she was right, proven right by the electorate, and you need to get those facts through your thick skulls.

I’m not overly depressed that a large majority of the party chose not to vote in favor of a long haired communist faggot peacenik conservative, big military budget favoring Marine war hero for the position. I expected no better from them, and I don’t doubt how much they fear what’s coming at them with the speed of a train. That is, the progressive takeover of the party, bouyed by activists who can see through the media splooge that distorts every event, and misrepresents every leader and voice we have in the party hierarchy. We know about loyalty you knob gobbing hacks. And when your whimpering asses are begging us for “sweet, sweet access,” we’ll remind you of just how much you showed.

Ok, I’m going to stop now. Clearly, the new editorial overseerer at the Times is flexing his muscle. Sorry to lose a once-fairly decent voice in the media. It’s ok though, that’s why we’re here.