He's so drunk he can't even adhere to the Patriot Act, which was written by Federalist Society operatives in Cheney's dank, mushroom-filled bunker basement to give Der Decider more power than a President could conceivably need or even want.

You think he could just drive a truck through the loopholes.

But n-o-o-o-o-o. He's just got to break the law. Sharks gotta swim, bats gotta fly...