Thu, 10/09/2008 - 11:38am — lambert
AP
The Bush administration is considering taking part ownership in certain U.S. banks as an option for dealing with a severe global credit crisis.
Good news!
I already own part of an insurance company, so that means I can get health insurance, right? Ponies
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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New higher interest rates!
Your new Federally owned bank account will pay 10% on all accounts!
However accounts below $100,000 are more expensive to service and will incur a 9% service charge. In addition, the new higher interest rates make it impossible for your bank to continue shouldering the FDIC insurance burden, so an additional 3% will assessed all accounts for FDIC coverage.
Good news though! There will no longer be an upper limit on the amount of an account insured by FDIC! Accounts over $100,000 are simply too large to fail. Instead, there will be a lower limit - FDIC coverage will no longer apply to accounts below $100,000.
Well, I know where we can get an ATM kiosk cheap
http://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/mat/87...
Please note the "2 matching deposit cabinets" also available.
So what do you have to do to start a bank? Doesn't seem like you have to be terribly smart, as much as look smart. Nothing makes you look smart so much as a pair of horn rim glasses.
Here's the plan: everyone get some new horn rim glasses. And briefcases. And maybe calculators, but they should be shiny and not all covered with becheetoed fingerprints from actually, you know, being used.
We are all going to be rich.