Some of you, out of curiosity, sat down and suffered through Mel's "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre," and came back to report on it. I thank you for doing that so I didn't have to. I'll return the favor and tell you about the movie that is sweeping America. It's taken in $70m on opening weekend (WSJ Print ed.) and also reveals that the Right in this country is even more twisted than I had thought.

"300" is so much more than the uberviolent videogame it appears to be at first blush. Simply, it is a bloated, triumphalist tribute to the authoritarian, closeted homosexual imperialist. This movie has it all: racism, sexism, contempt for intellectuals, bloodshed enough to make Atilla blush, and an unapologetic, blatant, sadist homoeroticism that is tied to the heart of military cultures throughout time. I'll give it this: if you're a Drag Queen looking for your next White Party costume, this movie will inspire you like few others in history.