Comey

Memo from VRWC to Justice: Suck it up and get on with the coup

That's the bottom line. But we're going to have to hack through thickets of obfuscation to get there. Work with me here:

Today, the VRWC needs to protect The Non-Answerer from truthteller Jim Comey. And Fred Hiatt comes through right on cue.

You remember Pepperdine, right? The school that tried to hire Ken Starr, even though he hadn't finished burning through $20 million investigating a blow job as part of the VRWC's failed attempt to bring Clinton down? Well, Fred Hiatt has turned over the Op-Ed pages to Pepperdine's Christianist and Federalist Society operative Douglas W. Kmiec. And Doug--I hope I may call him Doug--really sits up and works:

James Comey's Senate testimony on Tuesday was staggeringly histrionic. It has, as Sen. Arlen Specter suggested, the dramatic flair of the Saturday Night Massacre. Presidential emissaries seeking the signature of a critically ill man only to be headed off at the hospital room door by a Jimmy Stewart-like hero defending the law over the pursuit of power. Frank Capra, call your office.

There are several problems with this scene. First, the comparison to Watergate is wholly inapt.

Notice the inartful pivot in the word "scene." Doug's lead implies that the "scene" is at the hospital, but, with the word "Watergate," he reveals that the "scene" he really has in mind is in the Committee room. So, the "histrionics" don't apply to the grotesque "scene" of Gonzo and Card trying to force a sedated, suffering, post-operative patient flat on his back in a hospital bed to sign off on a program he's refused to sign off on when well--and what that says about Gonzo, Card, and the man they service--or to Comey rushing to the room to prevent them from doing so, after a call from the sick man's wife.

No, no. The "histrionics" have to do with--get this--"defending the law over the pursuit of power." Well, good Rovian that he is, Doug goes straight for the enemy's strength.** Here's what he has to say:

Watergate involved a real crime -- breaking and entering, with a phenomenally stupid coverup that also fit the definition of criminal obstruction. And the underlying motivation for Richard Nixon's demise was raw politics. Comey's tale lacks crime and this venal political intrigue.

"Comey's tale lacks crime"?! Lacks "venal political intrigue"?!?! Doug, Doug--Little man, where have you been living?

Maybe somebody could ask Mrs. Ashcroft who made the call?

Comey's testimony of his hospital run:

The next day was Wednesday, March the 10th, the night of the hospital incident. And I was headed home at about 8 o'clock that evening, my security detail was driving me. And I remember exactly where I was -- on Constitution Avenue [irony is not dead] -- and got a call from Attorney General Ashcroft's chief of staff telling me that he had gotten a call...from Mrs. Ashcroft from the hospital. She had banned all visitors and all phone calls. So I hadn't seen him or talked to him because he was very ill. And Mrs. Ashcroft reported that a call had come through, and that as a result of that call Mr. Card and Mr. Gonzales were on their way to the hospital to see Mr. Ashcroft.

So, who made the call? Who had the mojo to get through the hospital switchboard when the patient's wife had banned all calls?

Was it Bush?

Inquiring minds want to know:

Remember when Gingrich handed his wife the divorce papers when she was in a hospital bed after a cancer operation?

Same deal with Gonzales and Ashcroft:

Comey testified Tuesday that when he refused to certify the program, Gonzales and Card headed to Ashcroft's sick bed in the intensive care unit at George Washington University Hospital.

When Gonzales appealed to Ashcroft, the ailing attorney general lifted his head off the pillow and in straightforward terms described his views of the program, Comey said. Then he pointed out that Comey, not Ashcroft, held the powers of the attorney general at that moment.

Gonzales and Card then left the hospital room, Comey said.

"I was angry," Comey told the panel. "I thought I had just witnessed an effort to take advantage of a very sick man who did not have the powers of the attorney general."

"Thought" you say? That's what you did see!

There they are, hovering round Ashcroft's bed:

Sign, Goddammit! Sign, and the pain will stop!

Nice picture, eh?