Okay, you probably knew that getting arrested in Chicago--or anyplace, and just about any large city in particular--is not likely to benefit you, or for that matter unless you are a rapist or serial killer or the like, society as a whole or anybody who doesn't make a living from the incarceration-industrial complex.

But did you know the Cook County Jail is a biological weapons production facility? Close enough as might as well be anyhow:

Cook County Jail -- a hot spot for the bacteria, known as MRSA -- appears to be contributing to the infectious menace, as hundreds of inmates cycle in and out of the facility daily.

WTF is MRSA, you inquire?

MRSA stands for methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, a potentially virulent bacteria that doesn't respond to several antibiotics used to treat common staph infections.

People struck by the bug frequently develop painful skin boils or abscesses and, in rare circumstances, deadly pneumonias, blood infections and other life-threatening conditions.

You could take steps to protect yourself by abandoning that life of crime

Yeah, yeah, I know--this sort of thing has gone on since forever. But weren't we supposed to have a set of higher standards these days? A shiny, high-tech, high-quality military? Some things never change:

A Bangor Area High School senior who admitted his role in a BB-gun shooting spree that blew out about 200 windows and caused nearly $74,000 in damage won't have to go to prison — but only if he joins the Army and stays in.