Because clearly, the Windsors aren't in charge:

A two-year corruption investigation by the Serious Fraud Office (SFO) into a £60 million "slush fund" that was allegedly set up for members of Saudi Arabia's royal family was discontinued today.

Payments, in the form of lavish holidays, a fleet of luxury cars including a gold Rolls-Royce, rented apartments and other perks, are alleged to have been paid to ensure the Saudis continued to buy from BAE under the so-called Al-Yamamah deal.

The announcement by Lord Goldsmith, the Attorney General, follows threats by Saudi Arabia to suspend ties with Britain unless Downing Street intervened to block the investigation.

Yes, it seems that Bush has indeed wangled himself and Unka Karl $450 million smackeroos in a slush fund they can get their paws on right now and do anything they want with. Surprise! The story has a lot of detail, but the bottom line is simple: The terms of the Softwood Lumber Agreement with Canada will give Bush complete control of an escrow account with $450 million in it, controlled by a board that Bush appoints, and which can be used for any purpose whatever, with no Congressional oversight.

Hats off to the Kossacks for frontpaging this story, which I'm going to analyze below. (The cocktail weenie-scarfing SCLM, of course, has missed the story completely.) Is the story "interesting, if true"? Let's see.

If the story is true, the scope and audacity of this Republican maneuver is mind-boggling. And before we say "$450 million?? They would never do that!" let's remember that what we've laughingly called Iraq "reconstruction" was funded with suitcases full of cash, and $8.6 billion is missing, presumed stolen.) As usual, I'm never cynical enough about the Republicans, no matter how hard I try. And I do try.

And if the story is true, a $450 million slush fund would finance a lot of little October surprises. (Since Rove always operates at the margin, a lot of little surprises are more likely than the one big surprise that the BCW expects). It would finance, for example, any number of corrupt programmers if the election is close enough to steal. (Remember the Diebold programmer convicted of "tampering with computer files?)

And if the story is true, it fits perfectly into the pattern of Bush's life: Whenever he fucks up, someone with more money always bails him out. And $450 million is a lot of bailing.

To our story. The key phrase to keep in mind is "meritorious initiatives," and the key question you want to ask yourself is this: What would seem "meritorious" to a desperate Republican administration with $450 million to spend?

Onward: