Welcome to the first episode of "The Sorry News," a series of occasional commentaries about false narratives in today's America.
Suggestions for future topics are most welcome! What dubious memes, truisms, and such get your goat???
Today's topic is the oft-praised quality of "Bipartisanship."
Transcript:
Sorry, but someone had to break this to you.
The solution to our country’s problems is not bipartisanship.
Bipartisanship sounds nice, doesn’t it? Like "civility," "centrism," "collaboration," and "compromise." Things the media celebrates... whenever a Democrat has any power.
When Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama adopt that Kumbaya talk, they're giving the power right back. I’m sorry, but the answer to cancer is not compromise.
Before Fonzie ever jumped a shark, the Republican Party did. Back when Eisenhower's VP was elected president.
Unfortunately for him, back then we had news media that cared about honesty and the rule of law.
Today's GOP is a shark.
In these waters, bipartisanship is a ship of fools. Reach across that aisle and your arm comes back a bloody stump.
In the decades since Nixon's rise, Republicans have demonized minorities and the poor, they've rung up record deficits, and they've put the corporate inmates in charge of the corporate asylum.
They've torn down the fourth amendment, the Geneva Conventions, habeas corpus, and Jefferson's wall between church and state. They've taken the statesmanship out of the State Department and the justice out of the Justice Department. The Intelligence out of the CIA, and the Protection out of the EPA.
We’re supposed to partner with that? Should we agree to shred only half the Constitution, to carry American citizens only halfway to Syria to be tortured, to give only half the treasury to America's wealthiest and best-connected? Sorry, but I don’t think so.
Those who would have us compromise with these valueless crooks and incompetents forget that it is they, not us, who defined bipartisanship as "date rape."
In an essential 2004 Washington Monthly column, Paul Glastris described how Bill Kristol and the Contract-on-America GOP Congress ensured that millions of Americans — among other things — would be denied access to health care:
"Kristol," he wrote, "urged in a series of influential memos that the GOP oppose the Clinton plan 'sight unseen,' and commit to sinking whatever plan was devised--on the grounds that successful passage of any plan would keep the Democratic Party in power."
All these sharks do is cheat and eat. They've chewed up our military, our economy, and our national soul.
Sorry, GOP. To quote Marcellus Wallace, there is no you and me. You’ve lost your D.C. privileges.
Now, I'm not advocating pliers and blowtorches or harpoons. But I'm damned tired of Democrats bringing a Hello Kitty pencil case to a knife fight.
And that's the sorry news.
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Talk About Paranoia
You are more paranoid then Bush and Islamo-Fascist-whatever.
Do you believe all Republicans are the same as Rush, or Karl Rove.
The Bushies have their terrorists, and you have yours.
Keep everyone scared, that will get you readers.
Whatever
Nice to see the GOP is keeping you employed, Ken.
No Hell below us
Above us, only sky
No Hell below us
Above us, only sky
Simple answers to simple questions
Ken types:
Yes.
We. Are. Going. To. Die. We must restore hope in the world. We must bring forth a new way of living that can sustain the world. Or else it is not just us who will die but everyone. What have we got to lose? Go forth and Fight!—Xan
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi
But there are such differences between all the GOP candidates!
If there's one thing the Republicans stand for, it's diversity.
That's why all of them want to tear down the wall between church and state and all but one support shredding the Constitution in the name of security and fully support a war that is a well-documented mistake and fiasco... and are itchin' to start another one just like it (except bigger and riskier).
My bad for failing to appreciate how richly varied today's GOP is.
One more for the list
They took the Emergency Management out of FEMA too.
All Republicans are indeed the same as Rush and Karl. Not all Republicans are willing to admit that they are not remotely conservative in the classical sense, nor are they ready to admit their party has been hijacked by authoritarians with a criminal bent. Yet. Their intense loyalty is being abused. Gleefully.
Cheers Ken. If you're not making a killing on this stuff you are just a fool. Either way you're not the boss of me so smile and enjoy the ride while you can.
A shark has to keep swimming or it dies
The Republican Party was superbly adapted as an instrument of the Conservative
movement to seize power by any means necessary and destroy government as "the enemy." (Every bit of their culture all the way back to College Republicans has been optimized for this.)
And now that the environment--we hope--is changing, they must adapt or die. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, "When a creature has developed into one thing, he will choose death rather than change into his opposite."
The death throes will not be pretty.
And on Ken? He's a troll. Don't feed him. Please, more real discussion on VL's cogent commentary.
We. Are. Going. To. Die. We must restore hope in the world. We must bring forth a new way of living that can sustain the world. Or else it is not just us who will die but everyone. What have we got to lose? Go forth and Fight!—Xan
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi
Lb and Maalox, it's stunning that hardly any Repubs...
... have noticed that the GOP's means of destroying government is to balloon it into a red giant until it inevitably disintegrates.
For a party that rails against a federal government drunk on spending and waste, they sure do have a taste for the hair of the dog.
Looting is the Republican business model
See Nicolas Confessore.
We. Are. Going. To. Die. We must restore hope in the world. We must bring forth a new way of living that can sustain the world. Or else it is not just us who will die but everyone. What have we got to lose? Go forth and Fight!—Xan
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi
Lb, another Wash. Monthly classic!
What a great way to ensure good government -- to have the majority party hand-pick the people who are going to bribe them.
Made my day
In these waters, bipartisanship is a ship of fools. Reach across that aisle and your arm comes back a bloody stump.
I just found a link to this site and am now telling everybody I know about it.
They've found all kinds of garbage in the stomachs of killer sharks. I'd suggest we make the "Jaws" theme the song of the Repugnican Party, but they'd just consider that a compliment. When little else matters except the *appearance* of strength, it's actually better to be a mindless shark than just about anything else.
It's time rational humans took back the head of the political food chain.
I.S., thanks for the nice note!
And, yes, they would consider it a compliment, I'm sure.
truly excellent
Very well done, and what a pleasant voice!
This is a brilliant tack to take, for many reasons. Not the least, it is a significant step forward in gaining a presence for Progressive causes within the reach of the mainstream. Nothing says "Use ME!" to a harried and uncreative station manager like out-of-the-box-ready media.
Absolutely fabulous. Spectacular. Magnificent. Insufficent superlatives to describe it.
Thank You.
Everybody's a critic!
:v)
Thanks!