Today's Election '08 Religious Test

The biblical chapter Numbers 5 describes how a husband should find out if his wife is cheating on him.

He takes her to a priest, along with a helping of barley, and the priest mixes dust from the tabernacle floor into some holy water.

If she's guilty, the dirty water will make her thigh rot and her belly swell.

Which of the candidates will endorse a plan to add this kind of quick, inexpensive, reliable, and extremely moral jurisprudence to the Constitution?

C'mon, Mike. Platitudes are fine, but let's hear some specific faith-based proposals like this one in your stump speeches!

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Come on, get modern already

During my first pubescent year, I heard from an impeccable source, as he exhorted me to zip up before leaving the rectory, that goat-entrail readings are the only truly reliable way to answer the burning Is She Cheating question. Plus, you can make sausage later.