Trad press still behind the power curve on Republican dog abuse stories

lambert's picture

ABC's Political Radar has a data point, but misses the interpretation:

Romney Attacks Go to the Dogs
ABC News' John Berman Reports:

Mitt Romney's latest weapon in his barrage of jabs at Mike Huckabee? A dog named Spike.

A dog named Spike that likes to write letters. It is a piece of direct mail sent to Iowa voters, purportedly from Spike that begins, "Dear Iowa Republicans..."

It goes on to say, "You might have read about how Mike Huckabee raised taxes even more than Bill Clinton..."

Spike is apparently referring to the growing litany of mailings and "contrast" television ads where Mitt Romney is trying to paint Mike Huckabee as a liberal.

Spike continues: "What makes me barking mad? Mike Huckabee raised taxes on dog groomers! He went too far when he taxed the people who make me beautiful."

It is signed, "Bow Wow, Spike." It seems to be a genuine attempt at light-hearted humor on the campaign trail.

"Genuine," "light-hearted," and "humor"?

From Willard Mitt Romney?

John, what have you been smoking? That's just so implausible there has to be a better reason:

Now, to be fairMR SUBMLIMINAL Awwww! Why? John does mention the Romney dog incident:

Of course, the Romneys have their own dog issues, admitting to the Boston Globe that they once had their dog in a crate tied to the roof of their station wagon while driving to a family vacation. Bow Wow.

Except John also censors the key fact in the story: That Romney left Seamus up there on the roof so long that a "brown liquid" started dripping down the back window of the car!

And John also misses the reason Romney's doing this: the subtle dig that Romney's making here--that Mike Huckabee's son David hanged a dog, slit its throat, and stoned it to death* while a Boy Scout, according to a letter on file with the Arkansas State Police.

That's why Willard's linking Huckabee to dogs in this "light-hearted" letter. Watch for a lot more talk about dogs in the days to come.

John, try to be a beat ahead. Not a beat behind. Eh?

NOTE Bud, from Legal, insists I add the word "alleged" here.

NOTE The list of known Republican animal abusers is here. Feel free to pass along any tips!

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I'm Missing Something...

Has Giuliani's family ever mistreated dogs? Fred Thompson's? John McCain's? They must have. Right? They must have. We just have to dig and find out what they've done. I bet Giuliani's mistresses have had sex with dogs on New York taxpayers' coin, Fred Thompson's family dog ran away after not being fed for a month due to laziness, and John McCain's loyal canine is now running bombs to Iran. Ron Paul probably has a cat.

Never Mind

Whoops, I didn't see the link to the list.

I was actually kidding, though. WTF? What is wrong with Republicans?

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Marine slang: A clusterfuck was any group of Marines big enough to draw enemy fire, or several Marines close enough together to be wounded by the same incoming round. More generically, a clusterfuck was something that was all screwed up, i.e. "That blocking operation was a giant clusterfuck!" Whenever three or more CAP Marines gathered in the open, talking or working on something, somebody was sure to call out "clusterfuck!" and one or more guys would walk away. (Capmarine.com)

Clearly, Bush's war of choice in Iraq is "all screwed up"; that makes it a clusterfuck by definition. However, the term is even more a propos. Tactically, Bush's war of choice in Iraq is a clusterfuck. The analogy to "Marines close enough together to be wounded by the same incoming round" is clear. In Vietnam, "in the open" meant being exposed in the rice paddies or jungles. In Iraq, "in the open" means (1) urban warfare where (2) troops (and contractors) must be supplied by trucks which (3) are not armored thereby making them vulnerable to (4) the "incoming rounds" of IEDs placed along the roadside. Nice work, Inerrant Boy. (And the resonance to the words of Matthew 18:20, "wherever two or three are gathered together," is heartbreaking.) NOTE: A tip of the Ol' Corrente Hat to the man in the grey turtleneck for mainstreaming the word "clusterfuck" when applied to Bush's war of choice in Iraq.

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