“Colbert,” performed by The Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy.

(to the tune of the Eric Clapton hit “Cocaine”)

Who taught the Pres and the press that thing called “truthiness”: Colbert

Who does a “Threat Down” on bears and speaks of Hindenburg chairs: Colbert

He don’t lie, he don’t lie, he don’t lie: Colbert

He wants all books to be censored, ’cept Tek Jansen adventures: Colbert

He says the media’s too mean… when he’s not stalking Charlene: Colbert

Eagle-eyed, eagle-eyed, eagle-eyed: Colbert

Whatever liberals insist, he knows America exists: Colbert

The case is open and shut that real men think from the gut: Colbert

He don’t lie, he don’t lie, he don’t lie: Colbert

He’s my guy, he’s my guy, he’s my guy: Colbert

Be sure to show some love to “Cocaine” songwriter J.J. Cale, the hit-version’s performer Eric Clapton, and their lawyers — by buying the original recordings.