YALIYAD: Obama, Round 1
I've got to speedblog this morning, so forgive using the same hacktackular source twice in one morning. Obama: Cokehead has begun. Never mind that he came out about drug use years and years ago in a book that millions of people have read, discussed and accepted as proof that he's a regular guy with flaws. Never mind that *no one* in the "Serious" media would talk about the mountains of coke used by our Preznit according to dozens of sources, back when he was running, except the blogosphere, nascent as it was back then (or that fact that Pickles was the Go To Girl for dime bags of pot in college). Never mind that we really need to have an honest conversation about drugs, the failure of the Drug War, the racism of its policies and incarceration rates, the political organizations which benefit from the drug trade, the corrupt and oppressive regimes the Drug War supports, etc. "Obama is a NIGGER CRACKHEAD!!!1!" That's all you need to know from this article.
I was just asking you all who you thought would be president first: a black man, a woman, or a Jew. Well, in case you can't guess, the reason the answer is going to be "shortly after 3/4 of the national press corps is taken out and shot."
Obama: nigger cokehead/crackhead, molestor of white women, islamofascist, and (I'll just guess it's coming) gambling, feckless, can't manage his money.
Hillary: lesbian man-hating abortionist murderess who wants to take your children away from you and send them to Marxism classes where they will learn to burn bibles and spit on their grandmothers, a la "The Killing Fields." Also: she hates nice ladies who bake cookies for the church social.
Fiengold: Christ Killer. Nuff said.
YALIYAD = titter, i feel naughty today. Go ahead and see if you can figure it out, readers.
UPDATE: Xan, as usual, is one step/post into the future. I can only bow to her superior research/prediction skillz:
And so what do I see this very day over at Taegan Goddardâ€™s joint? This little item:
Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) smokes cigarettes. A piece in the New Republic argues that itâ€™s not a problem for his 2008 electoral ambitions. [quote from NR snipped]
I disagree. We live in a strange time when admitting to using cocaine in your memoir may be less of a political liability than legally smoking cigarettes. I suspect this minor character flaw has the potential to rattle some of Obamaâ€™s potential supporters.
So there. Ha ha. Obama will be knocked out, not because heâ€™s a triangulating centrist, not because heâ€™s trying to suck up to the Values=Jeebus mob, not even because heâ€™s blackâ€¦but because he smokes.
I rest (cough cough) my case.
I'm sure they'll go after Hillary for using OB tampons (which employ no applicator, boys, which means a girl has to actually touch her duty hole during her Time of Uncleanliness) instead of Playtex. "Senator Clinton was asked today why moral values voters shouldn't object to her blatantly pro-lesbian tampons, which clearly encourage premarital sex by Satanic stimulation of the womanly parts..." The Dirty! It Burrrrrrnssss!