File this under thank god Holden does it so I don’t have to. I know it’s bad, but sometimes I just have to remind myself that yes, Virginia, this is real life and not a comic book in which Bizarro is President:

Chimpy was in Saint Louis today blathering on about renewable energy and, despite the best efforts of the Secret Service, he was actually heckled.

THE PRESIDENT: Oh, I’m sure there are some people out there saying, well, you know, he’s just dreaming. Well, I’m just listening to the dreamers who happen to be good, smart, capable people who know what they’re talking about —
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Out of Iraq now! Out of Iraq now! Soldiers are not renewables!

THE PRESIDENT: Since 2003, my administration has made hydrogen and fuel-cell technology a priority — (audience interruption) — and we will continue to research to make sure America is less dependent on foreign sources of oil.

So much for the bubble, now on with the show.

It’s Like Totally Awesome

You know, I — gasoline prices are down, and that’s good news. Yes. I think everybody in America ought to be applauding. It’s like — if you’re driving a truck for a living, it helps you.

No Shit?

We live in a global world.

I Dare You To Combine Gasoline And An Electric Battery

You all know what hybrids are, it’s a combination of gas and — gasoline and electric battery that gets the driver a lot more miles per gallon.

Ever The Bully

I was down in Alabama — I’m going to tell you an interesting story when I was down there the other day. But I talked to a fellow from Auburn, he’s a Ph.D. — just reminded me the difference between a Ph.D. and a C student; the C student is the President, and the Ph.D. is the advisor.

Next Time Use Your Mouth

I have seen biodiesel poured into a new truck, and watched that truck crank right up, and realize it emitted no emissions. I know, because I put a handkerchief over the stack.

Not Gotta Lotta Brain

Secondly, on coal, we got a lot of coal. We got 250 years of coal. That’s a lot…

Visionary

Some day, some — the 56th President will be standing up here saying, I appreciate the fact that there was some pioneers back in America in those days; I can’t spent too much time because I’ve got to go get my limousine filled up by hydrogen — (laughter) — but I appreciate the fact that the solar panels are working so you can see me.

Seriously, someone wake me up when it’s mid-Feb 2009. It’s too early to drink and I don’t have any hash. It won’t be too long before I’ll be signing all my correspondance with, “Chicago Dyke, Canadian.”